More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
I had a criminal organization to dismantle and annihilate by Christmas with the help of the King brothers . . . they just didn’t know they were helping. I had to make spaghetti sauce on Sunday.
I liked the look of her and she liked the look of me. It was only a matter of time. We would be perfectly pragmatic together.
“Why does everything have to be black and white?” Jethro continued to press. “Why does every person have to be a zero or a ten on your worthwhile scale? Maybe she’s a seven or a four.”
“I don’t have time for fours and sevens, I have too much to do. If someone isn’t a ten, they’re a zero.”
“You’re not living with five brothers. Roscoe is gone, off to horse school.” “You mean veterinary school.” I nodded once. “That’s what I said, didn’t I?
“You’ll know one day, Cletus. You’ll discover what it’s like to find the other part of yourself. You’ll know it’s her, only her, always her. Maybe not right away, but eventually you’ll know. She’ll be your beginning, middle, and end. And your intentions won’t matter. Love brings its own intentions, and all other plans, hopes, and dreams fade to insignificance in the face of love.”
“Oh great, now Drew and Jethro can mind-meld. I’m getting out of here.” I turned from the group and their chuckles. “Come on, Cletus. Stick around. I’ll gaze longingly into your eyes. Us single guys need to stick together,” Beau called after me.
ignoramus?”
I’m the worst. I’m so awkward, my awkward is embarrassed by my awkward.”
“Mind your own business, Cletus,” Billy chided. “She is my business,” Cletus retorted. I grinned in spite of everything.
They aren’t me. I’m me. I have to live with me, all day, every day.
Mrs. Simmons, Beau wanted to make sure your daughter Darlene knew he found her missing underwear in his GTO last week. I know she was fretting over the loss. Please let her know he’s just going to mail them back this time instead of swinging by the house.”
“Like the heavens are sitting on your doorstep, and going for a stroll among the clouds is entirely plausible, if you felt so inclined.”
‘Old things have soul.’ Then to me she’d add on a whisper, ‘And young things have spirit.’”
Bullshit was the adult version of Santa Claus. For reasons I’ll never comprehend, the general population seemed to enjoy wallowing, spouting, and believing in bullshit.
My frown intensified. All on its own. Without consulting me.
How dare they
“Hey! Where are you going?” “You’ve lost the right to these muffins.” “Cletus,” Beau’s shout was ripe with strangled frustration, “you can’t have all the muffins.” “I can and I will,”
Saying someone would make a great politician is like saying someone would make a great serial killer. It’s not a compliment.”
“Look, all I’m saying is that if a person is great at something, she shouldn’t have to pretend she's not, and she shouldn’t have to downplay her hard work. There's nothing wrong with humility or modesty, Jenn. But—for heaven's sake—take credit for being a badass.” I pressed
“You forget, I’m a people watcher. I know you sell embarrassing pictures of them on stock photo sites.
“I offer invaluable character building opportunities. I help them reach their true potential through suffering.”
So, no. I didn’t want to kiss Cletus. Not if it didn’t mean something to him. Because it would mean something to me.
“Gee thanks, Billy. You win the award for most depressing statement of the road trip. Next time maybe keep all the sunshine and rainbows to yourself.”
“Besides,” Billy added with confidence and a glimmer of something like mischief, “I’m sure Cletus was already planning to invite you. We just saved him the trouble.”
smorgasbord
Absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder. Whoever said that was a damn fool. Absence makes the heart suicidal.
“I don’t like that advice. That’s seriously shitty advice.”
“Do you honestly think God would make a creature as lovely and talented and good as your sister, and then make the way she looks something sinful? Something to be ashamed of? No. He wouldn’t. If anything, your sister—her face, her body, her mind, and her heart—give glory to Him. And she shouldn’t be hidden. You don’t hide something that remarkable away from the world, like your parents have done, like you want to do. That’s the true sin.”
“I can’t break your heart without breaking mine, and I’m terribly fond of my heart.”
He was precious to me. “You want to know what you are to me? Fine. You’re my beginning, middle, and end.”
She was so beautiful, my Jennifer. And not because of her eyes, or face, or any other outward attributes. The person she was held me transfixed.
As elucidating as the last five minutes had been, I couldn’t spare any more time as a bystander. Plus I didn’t have any popcorn to eat while I gawked. I had things that needed doing and not enough time to do them.
“No matter what happened in your past, what ghosts might lurk there, the road you take is ultimately up to you,” I squeezed him back, “but—selfishly—I hope it’s always the road I’m on.”
“That’s right. You seize that woman, Cletus. You make her yours. And then after,” still grinning, Duane dropped his hand on my shoulder and gave me a little shake, “you give that woman your sausage.”
Instead, surround yourself with the weirds. With the misfits, oddballs, and outcasts. Because the normals, bless their hearts, have no idea how to have fun.”
