Time is a Mother

by Ocean Vuong

I was a boy— which meant I was a murderer of my childhood. & like all murderers, my god was stillness.

I thought the fall would kill me but it only made me real

Inside my head, the war is everywhere. I’m on the cliff of myself & these aren’t wings, they’re futures.

Nobody’s free without breaking open.

I was made to die but I’m here to stay.

Like the wind, I ride my own life.

you’re smiling because the stars are just stars & you know we’ll only live once this time

I promise you, I was here. I felt things that made death so large it was indistinguishable from air—and I went on destroying inside it like wind in a storm.

I made it out by the skin of my griefs.

Because this body is my last address.