Falling Embers (Tattered & Torn, #2)

by Catherine Cowles

I’d almost sent myself hurdling over the cliff after her without a harness. My heart hammered my ribs, and it wasn’t because the run brought it out in me. It was the fear setting in at the truth. I’d almost lost her today. It didn’t matter that I’d kept her at arm’s length for the past four years. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t let myself come to terms with just how much I cared for my Little Daredevil. I knew the truth now. If something happened to Hadley, I’d never be the same. And I would’ve wasted precious time pushing her away.

“I’m sorry I was a prick again,” I whispered. “Maybe, instead of apologizing, try not to pull that shit. I already get it from Hayes and my parents. I don’t need it from you, too.” “Easier said than done.” Hadley looked up at me, the wind whipping her hair around her face. “Why?” “Because I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

Because I’d been half in love with Calder Cruz from the moment he’d taught me to chase the stars.

“Hi.” “Hi.” His gaze bored into me as if he could see every scar and still-bleeding wound. “I’m sorry.” “For what?” “Hurting you. You’re the last person I’d ever want to hurt.” He was quiet for a moment, his eyes falling closed. “You were my air.”

“I’m sorry.” Her gaze jumped to me. “For what?” “Trying to get you to dial back what you needed. It’s not because I thought that what you were doing was bad.” My fingers tightened around hers. “It’s because I couldn’t bear it if I lost you. I came so close to losing my girls. I saw a glimpse of what might happen if you lost the people most important to you. I wouldn’t be able to take it, Hads. I need you safe and whole.”

I’ve wanted you for longer than I should’ve. But it’s more than that. You’ve always been more. You own my fucking soul, and I don’t ever want it back.”

“Are you in a hurry?” “Damn straight,” he said, pushing open the door to my bedroom. “You give me even a hint of a shot, I’m taking it. Every time.”

“You’re this explosion of light in a world that’s mostly gray. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

neck, bringing her gaze to mine. “I can’t promise you that this will work out, but I can promise to give it everything I have. We fit, Hads. It won’t always be easy, but it always feels right. I feel an ease with you that I’d never felt before.”

Part of me knew that I’d loved Hadley all her life. That love had shifted and changed over the years. From protective big-brother figure to friend and then to something more. But in this moment, seeing her pour that kind of truth into my daughter’s heart, every doubt was swept away. I loved this woman with everything I had, and I was never letting go.

“Enough!” Calder barked. “What about what I want? This beautiful, kind, strong woman next to me? The one who has put up with your nonsense for all these years because she doesn’t want to put her family in a tough spot? That’s who I choose. The one who has cared for me even when I didn’t deserve it. That’s who I choose. The one who makes me feel alive. That’s who I choose.”

“It’s true.” Calder brushed his lips against mine. “Everyone but you could see how much you owned me, way before you should’ve. Never feel more alive than when I’m with you. You’re like a fire that lives inside me. Even when I thought it was all burned out, there were still embers that lived in my bones. They’ll always be there, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“Love is pain. One can’t exist without the other. The more you expand your heart, the more you have the possibility of being hurt. The deeper you let someone into that space, the more it will kill if anything ever happens to them. That’s life. I shut it off for years after the accident, but I don’t want to anymore. You will always be worth the risk to me.”

“Do you—do you think she’ll want to be our mom?”

“Hadley.” I broke on her name, my shoulders shaking with silent sobs as tears tracked down my cheeks. “You can’t leave me. I just got you back. We haven’t had nearly enough time. I want to watch your hair get gray and laugh lines crease your face. I want to watch our girls grow up and make their own lives. I want to make babies with you.” I shifted in my seat, pulling out my wallet. I fumbled for that little compartment in the center, pulling out my grandmother’s ring. I took Hadley’s hand, careful not to dislodge the oxygen monitor. “I love you. I’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to ask you to be my wife. I waited too long. But there’s no one else I could ever give this ring to.” I slid the gold metal onto her finger. “You’re it for me, Hads. You, and you alone.” I leaned down, pressing my lips to the place where the ring rested. “Come back to me.”

“Would you guys like that?” They both nodded. Birdie linked a finger with one of mine. “I don’t like the mushy stuff, but I think I’d like it if you were my mom.” The tears began to fall as Calder moved in, taking Beckett’s spot on my bed. He nodded encouragingly at me, and I turned back to Birdie and Sage. “If you want me, nothing would make me happier.” Sage smiled at me as her tears fell. “We always want you, Mom.”