The Good Left Undone

by Adriana Trigiani

Never trust an artist to hold the purse, because it will be returned to you empty.

Don Vincenzo told me that the recipe for a happy marriage was Forgive. Forget. Repeat. I wrestle with forget.”

“When you see an old lady who’s on the wrong side of a good mood, now you know why. She has a past that you can’t understand because you didn’t live it. As she ages, her feet hurt, her back aches, her knees click, she cooks, she cleans, she worries, she waits, and then she gets sick and dies. Be kind, Anina. Someday you’ll be the old lady.”

“Life is a list, Emos. One by one, you check off the things you want to do and have to do, and soon you come to the end of the list. There’s nothing more to do, you’re finished, and it’s time to die.”

I want you to realize that this whole thing is just a grand adventure. A fine show. The trick is to play in it and look at it at the same time. . . . The more kinds of people you see, the more things you do, and the more things that happen to you, the richer you are. Even if they’re not pleasant things. That’s living . . .

There are many gifts a friend brings to a woman’s life. History. Empathy. Honesty. Lucky was the woman who kept a childhood friend because that friend remembered what you looked like, who you were, and your people. Lucky was the woman who had a friend from the age of ten, when girls were brave, gutsy, and full of questions and had the time and pep to seek the answers. That friend knew who you really were. That friend had seen your soul.

Who waits around for a compliment? Ask for it. Then take it. And when you do, you realize you knew the truth all along and you didn’t need anybody else’s opinion in the first place. No one has to tell you that you did a good job.”

“If Paolo makes you feel that everything is possible, marry him. If you think you have to make everything possible for him, don’t marry him. A woman appreciates support; a man needs to believe he did it all on his own. It’s ridiculous but accurate.”

“Listen to me. Love yourself. That’s the greatest adventure. When you love yourself, you want to find your purpose, something only you can do in the way only you can do it. Make things. Create. And if a man comes along—and believe me, he will—the relationship is already off to a good start because both of you love the same person. You. Lucky him.”