Breakfast with Seneca: A Stoic Guide to the Art of Living

by David Fideler

For the Stoics, the only things fully under our control are our inner powers of judgment, opinion, and decision making, our will, and how we interpret the things we experience.

In the end, it’s only possible to seek wisdom if you realize something is lacking.

if you’re not aware of your faults, if you don’t engage in self-inquiry, or if you don’t seriously examine your values, you really are unconscious of these things, and little to no progress is possible.

In the end, to make progress as a human being, you must first realize that you are imperfect (or have reason to improve) and, second, have a desire to improve.

While all friendships have value, the most remarkable are those that help us—and others—to understand the world and ourselves more deeply.

Unlike work accomplished with real mental focus, acting like you’re busy is a waste of time.

Stoicism as a philosophy was designed to free its practitioners from the slavery of false judgments and opinions that lead to negative emotions like fear, anxiety, greed, anger, and resentment.

The greatest obstacle to living fully, Seneca writes, “is expectation, which depends on tomorrow and wastes today.”

We can now see that the alternative to “preoccupation” and racing around in a flurry of busyness is learning how to live more deeply. And for us today, this doesn’t require becoming a philosopher. Instead, developing an interest in art, music, architecture, science or astronomy, history or literature, or a spiritual tradition, to name a few, could help any modern person to live more deeply. Through these interests, we can take in the wisdom and accomplishments of the greatest thinkers from the past, with whom we can still form relationships. In this way, our lives are no longer limited to the present age, but enlarged and nourished by a timeless community of the human spirit.

As Seneca explains often, you can only be anxious about the future if you view the present moment as being unfulfilling.

Anger is the worst vice, because it surpasses all others.

“The problem with anger,” Seneca writes, “is that it refuses to be controlled. It rages against truth itself, if truth seems to contradict its wrath. With shouting, frenzy, and the whole body shaking, it bears down on its targets, with abuses and curses thrown in.”10

The greatest cure for anger is delay. Ask this from anger at the start, not so it will forgive, but so it will evaluate. While its first assaults are heavy, it will retreat if forced to wait. But don’t try to destroy it all at once. If picked away at bit by bit, it will be defeated.20

Extreme anger will not increase justice or make the world a better place; it will only make the world more miserable, and more out of control.

People make mistakes, he says, because they consider the parts of life, but not life as a whole. Similarly, as an archer has a target, we should have an overall goal of life. As he notes in a memorable line, “When someone doesn’t know what port he’s sailing for, no wind is favorable.” In other words, without a destination, people’s lives are ruled by chance.18

Don’t desire hardships, but the virtue that allows you to endure hardships. —Seneca, Letters 15.5

In the words of Cleanthes (c. 330–c. 230 BC), the second head of the Stoic school in Athens, “Fate guides the willing, but drags the unwilling.”13

For a Stoic, everything we have from the universe is a gift, something on loan to us, which we will one day need to return. But our underlying mindset should be one of gratitude. Because even if we stumble on life’s journey or get splashed by a bit of mud, that’s no reason to complain about the beautiful world that brought us into being.

For Seneca, “The worst kind of poverty is those who feel poor in the midst of their riches.”28

In the Stoic view, we must understand our traits so that we don’t struggle against nature and try to pursue something beyond our capabilities. It’s just not possible to live authentically, with self-awareness, if you don’t understand who you are.

I will indeed use the old road, but if I discover one that is shorter and more smooth to travel, I’ll open up a new path. Those who made these discoveries before us are not our masters but our guides. Truth lies open to all—it has not been monopolized. And there is still much to discover for those who will come after us.24

Stoics will make the best of whatever circumstances are at hand, even amid failure, disaster, or financial difficulties. If knocked to the ground, Stoics will stand up, brush themselves off, keep training, and keep moving forward.