A Confederacy of Dumptys: Portraits of American Scoundrels in Verse

by John Lithgow

For pardoned felons Roger Stone, Mike Flynn, and Papadopoulos. By 8 a.m. they hit the streets, prepared for open battle. They filled their lungs with frosty air and roared like angry cattle. Armed with helmets, baseball bats, bear spray, and chest protectors, They railed against the verdict of the College of Electors. As Dumpty gave his makeup and his hair a final glance, His rabble-rousers crowded the Ellipse’s broad expanse. They evoked a mini-Woodstock in a ghastly new edition: The Summer of Love refashioned as the Winter of Sedition. They’d assembled there to topple an election they reviled At a rally Dumpty promised them on Twitter “will be wild!” The POTUS and his entourage were ushered to a tent Where he watched with glee the speeches at the start of the event: Mo Brooks and Amy Kremer and that ravenous akita, The fierce and fiery Guilfoyle, reenacting her Evita; Ken Paxton, Donald Junior, and that addle-pated wombat Rudy Giuliani with his call for “trial by combat.” Drunk on fake conspiracy and manufactured facts, The hopped-up herd bought every word of Dumpty’s opening acts. Primed for demagoguery and energized by rage, They howled in adoration when the POTUS took the stage.