The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

by Dan Sullivan

One specific phrase has come to define American culture and psychology: “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

with that single statement in the Declaration of Independence, he framed the experience of “Happiness” as unattainable.

Thomas Jefferson

By saying happiness is something we’re pursuing, the direct implication is that we don’t have it now.

Infidelity contradicts this concept

ideas can create culture, and culture is perhaps the most powerful force shaping human identity and decision-making.

When your happiness is tied to something in the future, then your present is diminished.

“Living for the weekend” minded people

research shows that CEOs are twice as likely to have depression than the general public.

the GAP-mindset eventually stops growth altogether.

The GAIN is the antidote.

A fundamental aspect of Strategic Coach, Dan’s coaching program, is having his entrepreneurial clients meet every 60–90 days.

“The Start is where you were 90 days ago. “The Achieved is what you’ve actually achieved over the past 90 days. “The Ideal is where you wish you were.

hedonic adaptation. It’s the tendency of humans to quickly adapt to where they are and what they’ve got. It leads to never being satisfied, and to constantly seeking the next thing.

Being in the GAIN means you measure yourself backward, against where you were before.

Tim Grover has said, “Winners don’t have a to-do list. They have a ‘done’ list.”

When you ask “Who?” rather than “How?” you free yourself of the burden of needing to do all the work yourself.

When you’re in the GAP about someone else, all you see is where they’re not measuring up.

If you have the need to be “right” in an argument, then you’re in the GAP.

When you are harmoniously passionate, you control your passion rather than having it control you.

Seth Godin and many others have explained that public education was actually invented in 1918 to get kids out of the factories.

The goal of the education system was definitely NOT for those children to become leaders or creative thinkers, but to become people who did what they were told, looked for the “right answer,” and did not think for themselves.

Ninety percent of people use social media websites for the specific purpose of comparing themselves with others, and nearly 100 percent of those comparisons are “upward social comparisons,” meaning people are comparing themselves with those they perceive to be “above” or “better than them.”

Research shows that optimistic people often live 10+ years longer than pessimistic people.

When your body has low energy or an empty stomach, ghrelin tells your brain you’re hungry and should eat. After you eat, your body suppresses ghrelin levels, which signals to your brain that you’re satiated or full.

psychologists have conducted tests to see if thinking of the absence of the good things in your life could make you appreciate them more—a concept called mental subtraction.

implementation intentions, which is a strategy to plan for the worst—so you can perform your best.

Preplan

Your behaviors before bed are coded into your long-term memory.

selective attention,

our attention focuses on what matters to us personally.

Taking time to sit down and think about your experiences is what psychologists call deliberate rumination.