My Man Jeeves

by P.G. Wodehouse

That's always the way in this world. The chappies you'd like to lend money to won't let you, whereas the chappies you don't want to lend it to will do everything except actually stand you on your head and lift the specie out of your pockets.

"You'll shake hands with them and so forth?" "I shall naturally order my behaviour according to the accepted rules of civilized intercourse."