When we have nearly died—or encountered anything overwhelmingly scary or stressful—the last thing we need is to feel as if there is something weak or morally wrong about our reactions. At best, such judgments may temporarily diminish the reactions only to drive them deeper inside the body and compound the trauma. What we need when we are hurting is patient understanding that proves to our whole brain-body system that we are safe. This shows us that whatever we went through is in the past—it is not happening again in this moment as we try to make sense of it all. This kind of compassionate
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