When we are able to choose kindness or curiosity to at least interrupt the second arrow, it looks like the progression in figure 4. This new way of responding builds confidence in our ability to respond to our pain, helps us begin to heal our relationship with ourselves in a more global sense, and starts to reverse the pain cycle by undoing the tightness, fear, and avoidance we experience in the presence of pain. And when pain comes up again, we know we have agency in the process: we can choose how we respond to it. That makes pain less scary and hopeless, and it makes it easier for us to
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