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In the next moment, the gray-haired doctor reappeared in the threshold of the waiting room, catching my eye behind his glasses. His somber gaze communicated something man-to-man, something primal. I didn’t know if I was imagining it. It couldn’t be. Suddenly I wondered if he’d moved the older couple to give us privacy. No, no, no. I found myself shaking my head. The doctor walked toward us, his lined face falling into grave folds. “Mr. and Mrs. Bennett? I’m Mark Chen, head of emergency surgery.” Lucinda jumped up. “How is she?” “Please have a seat.” Dr. Chen gestured to the chair, then sat
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Lucinda sobbed, tears pouring from her eyes. Ethan cried like a little boy, a sound I didn’t know I remembered until now.
“What . . . happened?” “The gunshot severed her jugular veins and tore other vessels and muscle. She sustained significant blood loss.” Dr. Chen’s eyebrows sloped like a roof sagging under snowfall. “I’m so sorry. We tried everything.” “Explain it to me, please.” I needed to understand. I was trying to comprehend something incomprehensible.
wanted her to be alive. I had taken alive for granted.
Anguish tore me up, and I understood why mourners shredded their clothes. I found myself saying I am so sorry I am so sorry, then I realized I was entering dangerous emotional territory, my rage resurfacing. I clenched my teeth so hard I couldn’t say another word.
I needed to reconfigure who I was. I was still her father, but she was gone. I had only one living child now, just a boy, my son. I would always be Allison’s father, even without Allison. Lucinda whispered, “You awake?”
First, we have identified your daughter’s murderer as one John Milo.”
“Both men were members of the George Veria Organization, or GVO, a dangerous criminal network that distributes and sells OxyContin, fentanyl, and other opiates in central and southeastern Pennsylvania.”
The kingpin of the organization is Junior’s father, George Veria, Sr. They call him Big George. There’s nepotism even in crime families. Junior was being groomed for the top spot. So if Milo wanted the top spot, he’d have to kill Junior.”
Special Agent Kingston leaned forward intently, his dark-eyed gaze bracketed by crow’s feet that looked earned. “Obviously, Milo can’t tell Big George that he himself killed Junior. We believe Milo will say you put up a fight, disarmed Junior, and shot him. In effect, Milo will frame you for Junior’s murder.” Lucinda gasped. Ethan looked over. I felt my chest
The bullet recovered from Junior’s body was a .45 caliber. We don’t have a complete ballistics report yet, but we believe it’s from Junior’s weapon. In other words, Milo shot Junior with his own gun.”
“The round recovered from your daughter was a .22 caliber. We know it came from Milo’s gun, so Milo was carrying a .22 caliber weapon.”
You can have a new life and start over.” I felt my world turning upside down. I didn’t want a new life. I wanted my old life back. I wanted my daughter back. Instead I said, “How will I support us? What will I do for a living?”
‘situational awareness,’ we learned about it in assembly!”
Suddenly a magnificent blue heron flew overhead, flapping its angular wings, leading with its long neck, graceful and strong, the hue of heaven itself. Tears came to my eyes. I took the heron as a sign. It resonated within me. It felt like Allison’s soul, beautiful, strong, and proud, set free, taking flight. I love you, Al. I missed her so much. I loved her even more. But I had failed her, as a father. My daughter believed I had superpowers, but I didn’t. I’d thought I was a good dad, but I wasn’t. I hadn’t saved her life. I had let her down. It broke me in pieces, wiped me out, annihilated
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That’s the way marriage was, I realized in that moment. There was a thing you always worried about,
barely a crack, running down the middle between the two of you, and you hope it will go away, but it can widen like a tectonic plate, break open beneath your feet, and swallow you whole.
Hart was Milo’s and Big George’s lawyer, but he had just been killed by their organization. I was in over my head, but I wasn’t about to turn back now.
I reconsidered the implications. The FBI had said that GVO was trying to kill me, since Big George believed I killed his son. Now I was wondering if that was true. And if it was, why would GVO kill Hart? And who had chased me after the funeral? It was hard to imagine who in GVO benefited from Hart’s death. Then I realized the answer: Milo.
The terror of knowing what no one wants to know. I felt a deep stab of grief, and the words came to me as if I were reading my daughter’s mind.
Maybe there would come a time when it didn’t make me feel broken, but I doubted it.
‘Decide what you want and do what gets it.’ ” Dom nodded. “Nothing else matters. No rules, no laws. Not what you should want. Not being right. Not your pride.”
“Then you forgive her. That’s what love is. Forgiveness. Judgment belongs to God Almighty. Not you.” Dom chuckled. “Okay, that works, too.”
