Don't You Dare (Reckless Games #1)

by C.E. Ricci

Though, I’m not entirely sure if ignore is the right word. Being distant might be the better term. Whatever it is, he’s made himself very scarce around the dorm. Staying out to study at the library until he knows I’m in bed or spending time at the team’s practice facility for extra batting practice. The latter is how I know something is definitely wrong. Keene hates taking BP off the machine and avoids it at all costs during the regular season.

But when it comes to the third day and I still haven’t seen more than a passing glance of him, I’ve had about enough. I know I screwed up a bit, pulling a classic Aspen and shutting down immediately post-hookup. I also know I haven’t done shit to broach the subject about what happened the other night because I really don’t know how. But I also know I can’t keep living like this: two ships passing in the night like the other doesn’t exist.

If anything, I understand—now more than ever—why he kept the questioning of his sexuality under wraps. Because after what happened when we were texting and then the other night on the couch… Hell. I think I’m questioning mine.

“Oh. You’re still up,” he says after kicking off his slides. Long fingers grip the bag slung over his shoulder far tighter than they should be, and I can tell he’s looking for an out. Hilarious, considering Keene’s always the one to make us talk about our feelings when we get into a fight.

But pair his clear desire for avoidance with the way he still won’t look at me, and I know this is necessary. No matter how uncomfortable it’ll be. And I know it’ll be awkward. Especially if we aren’t on the same page as to where we go from here.

“Yeah,” I say slowly. “I think we need to talk.” He nods a couple times before finally meeting my gaze. An impassive look is plastered on his face, completely unreadable. My stomach rolls at the sight of it. Part of me thinks he might even tell me no or to fuck off. I don’t think I’d blame him if he did. Rejection stings from anyone, but I’m sure having it come from one of the people you care about most hurts like a bitch.

“Okay, so talk.” Then he walks right past me and into his room, clearly meaning for me to come with. Well, shit. I wasn’t expecting him to make me go first.

I take a deep breath and open my mouth to start out with what sure is gonna be a ridiculous amount of word vomit—the first few being I’m sorry. But then he strips out of his cut-off and tosses it with the rest of his dirty clothes, his shorts and socks quick to follow. Soon enough, he’s left in only a pair of black compression shorts. And I’m left completely tongue-tied.

“Normally when you wanna talk to someone, you have to speak words, Pen.” His eyes give nothing away. Not an inkling into how he’s actually feeling. Okay, so that’s how we’re playing this. Good to know. My eyes narrow on him, and I cock my head to the side. “You might be cool with pretending like nothing’s going on after the other night, but I’m not.”

His shoulders go rigid. Imperceptibly so, and I almost don’t catch it. But it’s the way his eyes widen that give him away. And it’s then I realize what’s really going on here. I really hope you’re sober enough to remember this tomorrow.

As if I could forget anytime soon. I think the groan he let out as he came all over me is permanently seared into my brain. A sexy, forbidden soundtrack playing on repeat ever since I first heard it. “I remember,” I murmur, confirming wh...

He lets out a sharp exhale, relief crossing his face momentarily. It’s quickly replaced by a look of irritation, his eyes narrowing on me. “If you remember, why’d you wait three days to say something?” “How was I supposed to when you were...

“I guess that makes sense, but you can’t blame me for wondering when you’re hardly the one to talk about shit unless I force it out of you.” I frown. “So then, why didn’t you force this conversation the morning after?” His lips roll in, forming a thin line, and he sighs. “I guess I didn’t want to freak you out if you didn’t remember. ...

“I’d never think that, Kee. That’s something you should know.” “I should…” he starts, shaking his head, “but things have been so weird lately. Ever since that Chi O party where we played DYD, I’ve felt this…” “Tension?” I supply. A little too quickly, because his head snaps up and it feels like he’s staring right through me. “So you’ve been feeling it too?”

He nods too, eyes sinking closed. “Okay, so it wasn’t just me. That’s good to know.” The words are muttered softly, almost to himself, and another wave of guilt hits me. Just because I wasn’t able to express what’s going on in my head about all the shit escalating between us—let alone talk about it with him—doesn’t mean it was in his head. Or one-sided. That’s the last thing I wanted him to think.

As unfair as it might be to him, it’d be even worse if I were to say one thing and then end up taking it back later. I’d rather know for certain before taking that kind of leap. With anything, really, not just him. But because it’s him…it’s almost more important to be sure.

Which would be fine if the movement didn’t make me realize…he’s still in his damn compression shorts, and only the compression shorts. Damn. Clearing my throat, I glance away from him, but that only makes him burst out into laughter. “For fuck’s sake, Pen. You act like you haven’t seen me half-naked before. Or completely, seeing as we used to take baths together as kids.”

I feel my cheeks heat, and I snap, “Yeah, well, baths as toddlers when we don’t know about dicks and sex is completely different than making out and dry-humping each other to the point of climax.”

Shit, shit, shit. Keene just continues to stare at me, lips parted slightly in something like shock. After knowing him for years, I can tell he’s doing his best to read between the lines. Seeing what I’m not saying. I’m kind of terrified of what he might find…because I don’t even know what’s hiding there myself.

I sigh, resting my face in my palms. “I don’t want to want you. Not like that.” “And you think I do?” Lifting my head to meet his gaze, I’m surprised to find a pained, worried look on his face. “You think it hasn’t been fucking torture to keep this shit to myself? From you for this long? I’ve been living in hell ever since that kiss, and it’s only gotten worse over the past few weeks. So do you really think it’s been easy to want you, but know I can’t have you?”

Ughhh heart squeeze

“Look. I’ve been wishing I could just get over whatever happened that night for a long time, Pen. But I can’t. I’ve tried.” My head hangs. “I just wish you would’ve told me. So you didn’t have to go through it alone.”

“I mean, I didn’t even know at the time if it was something I needed to go through, you know? Like I said, I tried to ignore it, get over it, whatever. But I can’t, and it’s made me realize this is something I just have to figure out for myself. I can’t not know.” “Then you should.” I pause, my stomach rolling with worry. “But Kee, you have to be able to trust the person you’re gonna be exploring this with. I…” A knot works its way into my throat, and I swallow it down. “I don’t want someone to just take advantage of you. Something like this is a big deal.”

“Well, the only person I would trust is you.”

“But I can’t ask you to be the guinea pig in this either. Sending me a dick pic is one thing. I can even rationalize what happened on the couch as us getting carried away with something that felt good in the moment, even if it wasn’t smart for us to get caught up in. But sex is something else entirely.”

My brows furrow, and while I understand what he’s saying, I find myself disagreeing. Because I am the king of no-strings hookups, and the fact of the matter is, I don’t think I’d mind Keene figuring this o...

We could have each other in the ways our bodies are clearly craving. As long as we made some guidelines and were open with each other, there’s no reason for us not to. The only thing st...

His forehead creases. “I can what?” “Ask me.” When a look of doubt crosses his face, I roll the chair closer to him until my knees brush against the mattress. “I’m serious, Kee. You know I’d do anything for you, and if...

“Well, I’m not gonna take the chance on you finding some asshole on Toppr who doesn’t care about you at all and only ends up making it bad for you because he’s a dickhead.”

As much as I don’t like being the catalyst to this whole sexual discovery in the first place—only for him to keep it from me for as long as he has—I want to help him with this. Any way I can. So if I was the reason it started, I’m gonna make damn sure I’m the way he figures it out too.

It takes balls to put yourself on the line for another person. He’s probably the only person in the world I’d be willing to do something like this for, just like I know he’d do the same for me. Maybe that’s why I find myself uttering the question that keeps getting us into this mess.

“Don’t you dare?” His eyes heat dangerously. “Pen.” I shake my head. “Yes or ...

His jaw ticks, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look more pained in my life. Torn between what he thinks is right and what I can tell he really wants. And make no mistake, he wants this. He’s just too afraid to take it. I’m almost positive he’s gonna say no...

Until he nods. The slightest movement, but it’s t...

And fuck if I’m gonna let him start overthinking and take it back, so I blurt the dare out before he has the chan...

My eyes snap open. “What?” I ask in complete disbelief. “You heard me.” No. No, I don’t think I did. I think I’m in a dream and my brain is working up some wild shit to keep it interesting. Or maybe I’ve been thrust into an alternate reality. Either way, there’s no fucking way Aspen just dared me to blow him.

“You’re serious,” I say slowly. “Like, deadass serious?” He nods. “You wanna know if you like dick for real, so what better way than to start with a blowie?” Maybe, but…Jesus.

Everything inside me tells me to bolt, yet the way my dick decides to thicken in my compression shorts gives me away. He’s quick to notice and nods toward my crotch.

Okay, now this is literal insanity. Have we pulled some Freaky Friday shit, switching bodies, and I haven’t noticed until now? Aspen doesn’t do shit without thinking—that’s my MO, not this worrying bullshit. The worrying is all him.

“But if the other night taught me anything, it’s that it felt really good to be touched by you, even if it did freak me out a bit. So…I’m not gonna be one to get hung up on it.”

“It’s sex, Kee. And if sex with you feels as good as it does with any other partner I’ve had, then…” He trails off and shrugs again. “Then that’s all I really need to know about it.” I wish I could be as cavalier as he is about sex and hookups, but I’ve never been able to separate my emotions when it comes to intimacy.

“We only do what we’re both comfortable with should be the big one,” he says, leaning back in the chair. “And we’re not fucking around with other people while this is going on.”

My ears perk up at the exclusivity clause, and I’m glad he’s all for it. I don’t know why I thought he wouldn’t be to begin with. Pen might have a major detachment when it comes to sex, but it’s not like he goes around screwing anything that moves.

And that’s also why it doesn’t surprise me when he brings up his next point. “Our friendship is the most important thing. Maintaining it at all costs. We have to be honest with each other when it comes to what we like, how we’re ...

Maybe even lust. “Who would top, if it ever came to that, being the main thing.” My blood might as well be boiling in my veins. “I can tell you one thing: the way I’ve pictured this going puts you on top ninety percent of the time.” “So you’ve pictured it.” Yes. I lick my lips. “Maybe.”

Any question I had about it being lust or embarrassment is immediately answered by the heat in his gaze at my answer. And though it makes me feel so much better, knowing this turns him on as much as it does me…I’m still worried.

“You know this could fuck up everything, right?” “I know.” His smile is soft and reassuring. “Believe me, I know it could. But I also know I’m not gonna let you figure it out with anyone else but me. Call it possessiveness or jealousy, I don’t care. But it’s not happening with anyone else, so you might as well get on your knees right now before I walk out the door and make you come begging for it.”

Ahhhh

I’m not used to feeling when it comes to sex or being around Aspen. I can’t help it though, when I want this to be good. I want him to like this, the same way he liked what happened on the couch the other night.

He’s the one person I’ve always been able to be vulnerable with about anything—and if we aren’t letting these hookups change the way our friendship’s been for the past twenty years—then I shouldn’t have any issue letting him know my insecurities. “You’ll tell me what you like? Or if I’m bad at it?” I murmur while sliding off the mattress and to my knees between his thighs.

Gripping the waistband of his sweats, I start to pull them and his boxers down. His hips lift, allowing me to slide them past his ass easily. The second his cock springs free of the fabric, my heart jackhammers against my ribs hard enough to crack them. “Shit,” I whisper.

It’s long and thick, a deep blue vein running up the bottom that I can’t wait to run my tongue over. An angry, red tip stares back at me, a drop of pre-cum seeping from the slit already.