My Dearest Darkest

by Kayla Cottingham

“You’re a menace.” “Only on my father’s side. I’m mixed rapscallion and hooligan on my mother’s.”

“Please, I’m an Olympic gold medalist in making it about me.”

“On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most cult-y and one being the least, it’s maybe a six at best.

you’re still confused, I can maybe make a PowerPoint breaking it down. Or Google Slides—whatever you prefer.”