I do not know how to feel about his grief. I know it is real, grounded in his own connection to her, and yet it feels indulgent. It feels like he’s letting something out to dance that should be locked away. I wish he’d stop. His bottom lip quivers, trying to hold it in, but he can’t. It’s bigger than him, this emotion, and it breaks over him now. I put my hand on his shoulder, but I do not feel the thing inside me I should. I do not feel protective of him, sorry for him. I do not feel compassion, and it does not stir my own grief. I am too afraid. If I let myself see his pain, what will that
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