Unhinged (Necessary Evils, #1)

by Onley James

Adam had no baseline for normal. He could only watch and mimic what he saw. He wasn’t a six-year-old boy. He was a six-year-old robot currently downloading the software that made a six-year-old boy.

His father would resurrect him just to kill him again if he got himself merced in this part of town.

He knew he should tell them about Noah. They needed to know that someone out there knew who Adam really was. But he didn’t want to tell them. He didn’t want to tell anyone. Some weird part of him wanted to keep Noah all to himself.

“No, I’m average in size. You’re just kind of small.” Noah scoffed. “Not where it counts.” That wasn’t really the truth either. He was pretty proportionate in every way. He didn’t know why he said it, but Adam grinned and Noah’s heart tripped in his chest. What was wrong with him?

“Are you secretly a Cullen? You have vampire teeth. Is that why you’re so pretty?”

When Adam released his finger, Noah ran his thumb over the mark. Adam had marked him. Like an animal. Adam was an animal. A predator. A killer. A killer who was still holding his face.

Atticus was tall and fair with a gym body and ginger hair. He looked like a Mormon and a tax attorney had a baby with shitty eyesight.

“I’m sorry to pull you away from the coke you were probably snorting off some rent boy’s ass.” Adam scoffed. “Coke? What are you, eighty? Who the fuck does coke anymore?” “Haven’t you heard, it's making a comeback. It's all about nineties fashion and eighties drugs. Kids today,” August said,

“You’re a fucking supermodel. What exactly did you intend to ace, Tyra? Smizing 101?”

Adam didn’t leave, just moved closer. “Why would you do a drug when you didn’t even know what it was?” Noah shrugged. “What are you, the morality police? You kill people, like, as a hobby.” “It’s more like community service,” Adam said, his expression blank.

“Don’t you live in a mansion on the other side of town?” Adam shook his head with a smile. “No, my dad does. I live in a studio apartment on the other side of town.” “And why can’t you go sleep there?” Adam shrugged. “Because you’re not there and I want to be with you.”

“Bite me, spank me, pull my hair? Tell me I’m bad, tell me all the things you’re gonna do to me. Make me take it. Pin me down by my wrists and trap me against a mattress. Dry hump me until I come?”

“Lucky for you, Daddy issues aren’t just for girls.”

Adam would happily crack this Gary like a fucking glow stick if that was what Noah needed.

“No circus animals. No permanent damage. You can’t pee on me.”

Noah’s heart did a little dance behind his ribcage. Adam was so fucking intense. He was like one of those characters in a teen romance novel where the naive girl ignores every instinct with catastrophic consequences. Except, in this scenario, Noah was the naive girl. He liked the attention. For better or worse. The catastrophic consequences were likely to follow but it was so hard to care. Was it wrong that he wanted somebody to love him and look at him with movie level fuck me eyes?

“Why did you tell her I’m your boyfriend?” Adam frowned. “Because telling her that you’re the son of one of my murder victims and we’re together because I happened to get off with you this morning sounded like a mouthful.” Noah shook his head. “You could have just said friend?” Adam’s brows furrowed. “But then she might think you’re available.” Noah’s brain stumbled. “But I’m not? Available?” “No.” “Do I get a say in this?” Noah asked, not even mad, just feeling like he’d definitely slipped into an alternate universe. Adam tilted his head. “Yeah. Did you not want to be my boyfriend?”

“What does that word even mean? Lots of people throw the word love around without actually treating the people they supposedly love like they are loved. I don’t have the same signals firing in my brain that you do. I have to rely on instinct. My instincts tell me you’re the one. What do yours tell you?”

“Then, by your own logic, you should do the opposite. And stay. With me.” “This is crazy.” “All the best things are.”

“Go ahead. Tell Dad. And while you’re at it, tell him this. I’m keeping Noah. He’s mine.”

“He’s mine. I won’t give him up. Don’t push me on this or I swear to fucking God, I’ll burn it all down. Do you hear me? If you make me choose, I’ll choose him.”

He couldn’t keep his hands off him. He wanted to taste every part of him, touch every part of him, crawl inside him and live in his skin.

“You cannot seduce me to get what you want.” Adam frowned. “Why not?”

“You know, you don’t have to tell anybody that you’re a rich kid. You’ve clearly never heard the word no.” Adam scoffed. “Of course, I have. I mean, never in reference to sex with me, but I’m familiar with the concept.”

“I don’t see what’s so wrong with being my full-time rent boy. I would offer you a very generous compensation package.”

“Hello, Calliope. How are you?” he asked dutifully. She gave a put upon sigh. “Terrible. The store was out of my favorite Arctic Fox hair color—Poison in case you were wondering.” He wasn’t. “Then I broke a nail trying to open my Diet Coke, found a screw in my tire, found out my ex-husband died, and got a paper cut opening my mail just to find out it was some company asking about my car’s extended warranty.” Adam blinked. One of those things was not like the others. “I’m sorry to hear your ex-husband died?” he asked. She scoffed. “Me too. I thought the son of a bitch died five years ago. Guess I should have checked for a pulse before I left.” Adam had no idea whether she was joking or not. It really was a crap shoot with Calliope. “This is why I never ask how you are,” he said, voice flat. “In case you were wondering.”

Are you almost there?” “Where?” There was a long pause. “Adam. Please, tell me you didn’t forget to pick up the twins from the airport.” He’d definitely forgotten to pick the twins up from the airport. “Of

“I can’t believe you’re dating Adam Mulvaney. Do you know how many of us work in this shithole hoping we’d all get that million dollar meal ticket?” Noah rolled his eyes. “Shut up. You love Leah. You wouldn’t leave her for a sugar daddy.” Bailey sniffed. “Maybe not, but I might for an engagement ring and a billion dollars.

He was one big trauma response wrapped in a blanket of kinks and insecurities.

Brother stuff. That was what his father called it. He said it made them seem normal. Siblings teased each other. Siblings had banter. His siblings were going to need a ride the rest of the way home if they didn’t shut the fuck up because he was going to dump them on the side of the highway. They had it coming. Even his father would see that, once he explained it. They could call an Uber.

It made no fucking sense. They didn’t even know each other, but he wanted to be Adam’s, wanted his heat, his passion, hell, even his violence. But, buried deep down, Noah wanted Adam because he knew he would burn the whole fucking world down for him and never feel a shred of remorse.

Honestly, if I said half the things I think when I look at you, you’d run screaming into the night.”

“Like I want to stitch my body to yours. Like I want to live inside your skin. Like I would handcuff you to the radiator if you tried to leave me.”

“I don’t want to be like this.” Noah frowned. “Like what?” “This,” he said, sounding frustrated. “Crazy. Possessive. I know my brain doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to, but it never really mattered before because I knew why I was put on this planet. My dad said the world needs people like me to maintain order. Balance. But I never thought I’d meet somebody and feel the way I feel when I’m with you.” “I like that you’re possessive.” Adam scoffed. “You won’t be saying that when you’re chained to the bed.” Noah lifted a hand to cup Adam’s face. “I like the idea of being chained to your bed.”

“I know you’re mine. I know it. Deep down, in that part of my brain that doesn’t care what is right or how society dictates how people choose a mate. I chose you. I want you. Just you. My brain has picked you, and now, I can’t undo it. You’re trapped. With me. For life.”

Who was to say Adam and Noah couldn’t make their relationship work off of kinky sex and a shared understanding that neither of them would ever be mentally sound?

“What time do you work today?” Adam asked, pulling back to look at him. “Five, why?” Adam grinned. “Just want to know how many times I can fill you up before we have to shower.” Noah blushed. “You need to feed me first.” Adam sighed. “Fine. Shower, then breakfast. Then sex. Then lunch. Then sex. Then another shower. Then work.” Noah rolled his eyes. “I’m only willing to commit to food and a shower. The rest is to be negotiated on a case by case basis.”

“The boy I met in that warehouse, the one with the stars on his cheeks, that’s the real you. The you who might have stayed soft and gentle if you’d had different parents. But circumstance has made you build a wall around yourself, made you push back against anybody who even slightly wronged you so that they didn’t see how vulnerable you were. You want affection, but you fear it. You want love but are afraid it will be taken from you if you let anybody get too close. You’ve numbed yourself to kill the pain of the life you’ve lived so far, but it’s made you so…impervious to touch that you need it rough just to get off.”

“I like all your pieces. I like you soft and I like you tough. You see all my pieces, too, you know? You see things about me even my family doesn’t. Letting somebody see you isn’t a bad thing if you can trust them.” Noah swallowed hard. “And you trust me?” “Yes. Do you trust me?” Noah nodded. “Yes,” he said, voice thick. “Good. Then there’s nothing to worry about.”

“I don’t know what love feels like. I don’t know what empathy or guilt feel like. But I know this: I want to fuck you and fight with you and fight for you and make up with you and make out with you and eat Greek food naked with you. Is that enough?”

He loved touching Adam, and his chest felt full at the knowledge that, somehow, Adam’s fucked up brain had taken one look at Noah and decided his equally fucked up brain was what he wanted.

“Are you going to leave me?” Adam asked, the thought turning him cold inside. “What? No. I can be mad without leaving you. I’m probably going to be mad at you a lot because you do boneheaded shit like this and then don’t even have the capacity to feel bad about it.”

“I think you underestimate you. You impressed a room full of killers. Hell, you impressed my dad. Do you know how hard that is? He likes you. Like, really likes you. The twins think you’re great and they don’t like anybody. I know that we’re not the family anybody would want, but we’re your family if you want us. But that doesn’t mean you can’t also learn about your own family, too. If you want. Or when you want. There’s no time limit.”

You are the family I’ll fight to keep. Nobody else. If you want to meet your real family, I definitely won’t stop you and I’ll do everything in my power to be whoever you need me to be around them. But the jealous part of me will always want you to pick me…just me, and that’s probably never going to change.”

“Damn,” Asa said with a laugh. “That’s fucking cold, bro. I like it.” “No way. These guys all deserve to suffer,” Avi said, once more kicking Gary’s fallen chair. August snickered. “You just like butchering people.” Avi gave him the finger. “I’m not the one who has a kill playlist on Spotify.” August bristled, giving an offended scoff. “You know all the screaming and begging gives me a migraine.”

“Are you guys really disappointed that you can’t stab somebody when the alternative is to just set them on fire?” Asa nodded. “No offense. It’s just a little…hands off for our taste. We take pride in our work.”

If you need a distraction, I have something you can play with,” Adam said, clearly amused with himself. “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Archer muttered in Noah’s ear. “Yeah, coms are live. Try not to act like heathens,” Atticus added.

“Shit. You look really hot right now,” Noah murmured. “Again, coms are hot. Keep it in your pants, boys,” Archer muttered. Why were people always saying that to them?

“Did you bring the folding chair?” Noah asked absently. Avi nodded. “We thought it might help. You know, being your first kill and all, we didn’t want him making a run for it.” Noah’s brows raised, a warm feeling washing over him. “Thanks, that’s…kind of sweet, actually.” The boys beamed at him.

Adam chucked his finger under Noah’s chin, forcing him to meet his gaze. “You maybe love me?” Noah wanted to say it. He did. He wanted to say he loved Adam, but the words wouldn’t come. So, he just nodded. Adam’s grin widened. “Well, I maybe love you, too.” Noah’s chest tightened, his face twisting into a grimace. “Don’t say that. Especially if you don’t mean it.” Adam frowned. “I do mean it. I mean, I think I do.” “You think you do?” Noah echoed. Adam nodded earnestly. “Like, I don’t know what love feels like, but I know that whatever I feel for you, I’ve never felt for another person—ever. So, who’s to say that’s not love?” “I don’t know,” Noah said. “Maybe it is.” “So, maybe I love you.” Noah shook his head, a stupid grin forming on his face as he leaned across the console until they were nose to nose. “Then maybe I love you back.”