Brainwashed (Alabaster Penitentiary, #3)

by Nyla K.

Excitement. I’d almost forgotten what this felt like. To be enraptured by something, seduced by it. So engrossed that all I want in the world is to sit beside it for hours and watch it behave. Felix Darcey is exactly that.

In my presence, I want him free to do whatever his twisted little mind wants to do. After all, the only way I’ll be able to truly get inside his head is to take him off the leash. If he bites someone, so be it.

Cobble Hill was a great spot for watching. A lot of guys jogged around that area, and I used it as an opportunity to rediscover my childhood hobby. Stalking.

“It’s okay,” I whispered, leaning over him. My fingers brushed the skin on his face. “I’ll make you happy again…” My hand shook as I brought the knife to the corner of his mouth, pressing it into his flesh. Then I dragged it up. “Smile for me, baby…” I did the other side after that. Blood dripped from the wounds around his mouth, but I could see it. My lips curled. He was smiling at me. He was happy and mine. Just like he was meant to be. I lay down next to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him close. He was still warm, and though the smell of copper in the air was thick, I felt content. I was pleased. The scent surrounded us, flopping my stomach like a tumble-dryer. But I liked it. I kissed Emmanuel on the neck, his blood smearing on my cheek. And I sighed out loud. The void had been filled. I was whole, for the first time in my life. At long last… The Carver was born.

He tosses his head back and lets out a laugh that warms me inside. I’m baffled by this reaction I’m having. I’ve never cared about making someone laugh before, but when Felix does it, and I’m the cause, it’s like some great feat.

Kent appears in the doorway holding two paper bags, and I tell him to leave them on the table, which he does, stalking away without a word. Felix’s face is lit up like a neon sign, obviously because of the smell that’s suddenly swimming around us. “Is that Chinese food??” I nod. “Open up the bags and take everything out. We’re going to eat and talk today.” “Holy fucking shit.” He practically leaps over the table, grabbing at the bags, tearing into them like a wild animal. My mouth quirks at the sight, before I force a frown because what the hell is happening to me?? These errant smiles are more than peculiar.

This is my form of experiment. This is what will teach me more about the monster in front of me. Maybe that makes me just as evil as him, who knows. But I’m willing to take that chance. Because the fact is that I can’t stop wondering what might happen if Felix Darcey were to be left alone in the same confined space as this man whose blood he craves, Kieran O’Malley. Opening the lion’s cage while he’s hungry… It’s a temptation I can’t ignore.

It’s only natural for me to feel tense watching him stroke his erection and bite his lip to contain his little moans. Especially knowing that he was thinking about me…

My head spins while I come down, and I slap my laptop shut. It’s hopeless. None of this makes any sense. I’m not attracted to you, Felix Darcey. I’m not.

There are too many labels. And you know what labels are? They’re just ways for people to feel in control, when in reality, there is no control. The world is chaos. Period.

“It looks like I own you, sick boy.” My lips brush his and he quivers. “You’re my monster.” Felix groans and leans back, arching up to me. “I am. I’m yours, Doctor.” Fuck, why does that sound so damn good??

His blood trickles slowly down his body as he pleads, in a voice throaty with need, “Get on my cock, sick boy.” “You’re so fucking sick,” I tell him gruffly, scrambling to straddle his hips. “You’re evil.” He grabs my face, breathing over my lips. “Vile.” “You’re fucking beautiful.” I fist his cock, which is now covered in his blood. He grips my ass hard in his hands, spreading me open and helping me position myself. “You are the most twisted, depraved… perfect fucking monster I’ve ever known.” He lashes my bottom lip with his tongue, guiding me down onto his cock.

I don’t deserve love… do I? With everyone who came before him, I loved the idea of keeping them more than I actually loved them. I’m not so sure that’s the case anymore… Because this man, this deeply complex, intelligent, gorgeous human, is the Want I’ve always dreamed of. With real flesh, and warm blood in his veins that dribbles when I cut him… He’s perfect, and that’s terrifying, because I know he’ll leave me. I know I don’t deserve Love.

I’m really trying to smother the smiles of a crazy person on my lips. “Can you figure out how I got the name Dr. Strange? And no, it’s not a Marvel thing.” Felix makes a face. “No shit.” He goes quiet for a moment before his head tilts and his eyes bug out. “Ooh! The Depeche Mode song, Strangelove! You’re Strange, and Love.” A laugh rumbles from me. “And Melvin could be Mel… and Mel backwards is Lem. Holy shit, I’m awesome.” I can’t stop chuckling. “You get a gold star.”

“He’s just a doctor, and you’re just his patient. Nothing more.” I feel the empty socket in my chest decaying already. My soul is rotted, covered in black mold and the stench of death. This is what I deserve.

“Callahan, look.” I sit forward. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. You just go home and relax. Be with Felicia and the kids. Take some time off. This whole thing will work itself out.” He lifts his face to gawk at me. “You’re awfully confident for someone whose serial killer patient is on the loose and angry.” My face remains casually unaffected. He’s not the only murderous lunatic I know personally…

“But why would you give up your life for someone like me? How do you know this could even work??” “Why wouldn’t it?” He slides hands up my sides, holding my waist. “I can think of thirty-seven reasons…” I mumble.

“Felix Darcey.” He sighs my name like it’s his blessing, not a curse, his large hands rushing up my chest to cover my heart and the scars he made there. “If I’m your Want, then you’re my Need.”