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light. I fear my main attraction is one of variety. I am like a twist of salt and pepper, a new flavour in a habit of life that has become very familiar to you. I’m sure that once you grew accustomed to me, my shortcomings and irritations would become only too apparent.”
It never occurred to me that any other construction might be put upon the time we spent together. I am not the sort of woman that men fall in love with.” “You think too little of yourself. It makes me sad to hear it.”
“Happiness depends on ourselves.”
“You are the least presuming person I know,” declared her aunt, as she placed the books alongside the others on the sofa. “And please, let us hear no more disobliging criticisms of your own character. The only condition I shall apply to your remaining with us is that you try to speak more kindly of yourself. Is that a rule you think you can obey?”
“I know this is not an easy subject to discuss, but let me tell you how I consider such things. I see plainly enough that you don’t like to make a fuss about dress—that you dislike having attention drawn to you. But there are times when the best way to ensure you are not remarkable is to conform to the expectations of those around you. You are a rational being. You must see that if we are to go into society, it makes sense to obey at least some of its rules.”
“I lost the heart for it. I was persuaded to buy a new dress, and the first time I wore it, I behaved very badly to someone who deserved better. I decided I did not deserve to wear nice clothes if I could not trust myself to act properly in them.”
“I realise this is a delicate matter,” she said, “but I am determined to persevere. I know you’ve always been told a woman’s worth can be measured only by her beauty, by the way she presents herself to the world. But please believe me when I say there is a middle way between an obsession with one’s appearance and an absolute denial of its importance. I do not consider myself a vain woman, but I admit it pleases me to be smartly turned out. And I would like you to feel the same.”
Your appearance does not suggest a blithe indifference but an acute awareness of your choices. You dress as you do because you do not believe you deserve anything better; and in doing so, you communicate that low opinion of yourself to everyone who sees you. If you were to embrace a few improvements, I believe it would signify something more than merely a desire to look a little smarter. I think it would suggest a willingness to allow yourself the self-respect you deserve, and which you have been reluctant for so long to grant yourself.”
“It is my situation I dislike, not myself.”
They did not consider happiness a matter of chance or destiny. Instead they did everything in their power to cultivate it, prizing generosity over petulance, preferring kindness to umbrage, and always encouraging laughter rather than complaint.
A cultivated mind is a wonderful thing in a woman and should be everywhere encouraged, not despised.
There are times when happiness must be fought for, if we are to have any chance at all of achieving it.”
She had gradually discovered that the best response to glorious, unexpected happiness was not to seek explanation for its appearance but simply to embrace it and be glad. This
