Being left in the tent was also a rude slap to his ego. “I feel like the last kid picked,” he complained to his journal, “losing my job my rookie year, not making varsity as a freshman. I want to fucking hurt something. I threw away or postponed a great deal to come here, broke the rules in a way. Here, nothing is based on merit. Everything has to do with time in battalion, time of rank—no comment on ability, aptitude, or skill…. I bring up ‘rule break’ only because I want someone to do this for us. Realize we are not normal privates, break the fucking rules, and put us in a position to add
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