The Irish Nanny

by Sandy Taylor

Snow covered the winter skeletons of Mammy’s roses and the top of the old brick wall. I remembered how excited we used to be when we were children and the first snow came, with all the fun it promised. I had always loved our home at this time of year.

‘You can place it in your heart, my sweet girl. It will be safe there and when you find yourself missing me, this snowy day will come back to you, down the rails and roads of your life.’ I grinned at my little sister. ‘Shall we?’

‘This is my home and this is my family and I will always come back. I promise that I will always come back, for this is where my heart is.’

Bridgy closed her eyes. ‘Dear Jesus, Kathy said you won’t listen to me but I think you will, for didn’t I help put the nativity up in the church

and didn’t I put a penny in the box for the brown babies?’

‘God love her, here’s one that

won’t have the lads queuing up at the door.’

‘You

have a beautiful daughter.’

‘I don’t think so.’ ‘But don’t you think that moments like this are just too beautiful to last?’

‘How can any of us be perfectly sure, child? Most of us just muddle our way through and hope for the best. How can we ever be sure about anything? Even our dear Lord Jesus must have made the occasional mistake.’

‘God sent his only son into this world in human form, Rose, and as a human, he had all the frailties that the rest of us have. He might have bodged up the odd job when he was a carpenter.’ I wasn’t sure that Father Tom should be talking about Jesus as if he was an ordinary man. I’d say it was verging on blasphemy but he was a priest, ordained by God and I had no right to be judging

him.

Listening to Hanna was like listening to Polly in that they both wanted more than they had. I had always been contented with my life and never yearned for more than the little village and the love of my family.

‘People don’t like what they don’t understand, Rose.’

‘Not everyone understood darling Alice. I did my best to protect her, but I was always worried that someone would take advantage of her naivety. She was an innocent in so many ways but I’m sure you know that already. When David came along, it was like a blessing from God. I knew she would be safe in his hands and she was.’

I’d always been told that Protestants were to be feared – not by Mammy, but by the people of the town. The way they talked about them, you’d swear they had horns and a tail, but the people I met in Belfast were good people and no different to my own kind.’

‘Oh no, I did that awful thing: I grew up. Now I let people believe what they want to believe and listen to my own good sense. With age comes wisdom, Rose, and I don’t need any man-made religion to dictate how I should think, or what I should believe. I have my own set of morals and if I am to be judged by anyone, it will be myself.’

When the British air force conquered the Germans over the skies of Britain, everyone was hopeful that this would bring an end to the war and for a while, we thought it would and maybe soon it would be safe for me to return home.

Germany continued to attack England, with massive air raids on major towns and cities. The loss of lives and homes left myself and Martha in floods of tears and I feared for Winnie Tuttle and Mrs Berry. I couldn’t bear to think of them dead or injured.

‘And what? Pretend it’s not happening, while we sit in our safe little houses? Is that what you think? It’s not our war, so why should we care? Is that your advice?’ ‘Come on, Martha,’

Duke Ellington, Dizzy Gillespie, Charlie Parker and Glenn Miller.

‘The wonderful Billie Holiday,’

But you will, I thought, because I love you. I love you and you will always make me sad.

‘I think that if you find the right boy, the one that you love with all your heart, then my advice would be to fight for him. Your parents love you and they wouldn’t want to lose you, so live the life you want, Hanna, and leave the rest to whatever God you believe in.’

I don’t think you can feel love if you’ve never been shown it.’

‘I think that love, whatever form it takes, can only be a good thing and in the end, love is the only thing that really matters.’

More than two thousand men were killed on that dreadful day and hundreds were injured. Twenty American naval vessels were destroyed and three hundred planes. The USS Arizona sank with more than a thousand men trapped inside.

On December eighth,

President Roosevelt declared w...

Everyone was talking about the war. Men aged between twenty-one and thirty-five responded to the country’s call to arms. The queues outside the recruitment offices reached right around the block. Young lads, who looked too young to fight, were singing ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ at the tops of their voices. These were boys who wanted to be men, who wanted to prove themselves and fight for their country.

welcoming in a Christmas that for some,

Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous. This is what the LORD will do, to all the enemies, you are about to fight. When you pass through the waters

will be with you and when you pass through rivers They will not sweep over you When you walk through fire, it will not burn you.

He held my face in his hands. ‘I have to say something and I want you to know that I say it with no hope or expectation. I love you, Rose. I know I have no right to, but I do. There, I’ve said it and I shall say no more.’

I was only now learning that love could make you selfish and I was ashamed.

‘Then enjoy what you have and if she is alive, I know that you will face it with grace and dignity and you will be brave, for you are the bravest girl I have ever met.’

As the policeman went towards her, I saw David emerge from the crowd. ‘You touch her and I’ll see you behind bars.’

‘A better man than you are,’ said David.

‘You may have a job to do, sonny, but a bit of compassion wouldn’t go amiss. Although I doubt you’ve even heard of the word.’

A young policeman put his hand on my arm. ‘They are not being punished,’ he said, gently. ‘Your friends are being removed for their own safety; they will not be harmed.’

‘We’re not all like him,’ he said.

‘Martha is too old to bring up a child. If I don’t make it home, will you take care of Sarah? It’s a lot to ask of you, I am aware of that. You are young and deserve a life and a family of your own but I have to know that Sarah will be alright and there is no one I trust more than you to take care of her.’ ‘Oh, David, of course I will but you will come home and we will care for her together.’

‘He needs to remember us with smiles on our faces, not tears in our eyes,’ said Martha.

Love isn’t about owning someone, love is about guiding them to a place where they can discover who they are, not who you want them to be. I now looked

‘The young girl that left Ballykillen is not the same girl who will return.’ ‘I’ll be

‘From what you have told me of your early life, your family were poor and you led a very simple existence, am I right?’

‘We didn’t have much money, if that’s what you mean, but we were happy and I was loved.’ ‘I have no doubt about that, you wouldn’t be the wonderful girl you are if you had not known love.’

Thin rays of sunshine dappled through the trees and across the lawn.

‘So, Martha won’t be living here anymore, Sarah, do you understand?’