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“They’re supposed to be different steps, right? Falling in love and being in love? I thought you fell for a long while before you loved, but that’s bullshit, isn’t it?” I snapped my eyes open to stare at blackness, flattening my shaking hands against the door. “Why do they even call it falling when it’s jumping? It’s jumping from one death-defying stunt to the next and just praying you land on your feet.”
“I’ve fallen in love with you several times since I met you, Ms. Sanders,” he spoke, tender and so sure.
“The first time was the Monday after you ran out of the garage.” After our first kiss. “And I found you asleep with Maya on the couch. I don’t know how long I sat there and watched you two, but that was the first time I knew.
“The second time was when you frosted my beard with pink icing.
Third time was the water fight later that night. Fourth, when you fearlessly called Heather out after she hit me. And then about a hundred times after that.”
“Sometimes I fall in love with you when I’m just thinking about you. Sometimes you’re standing right next to me when it happens.”
“Maybe you’ve got it backwards,” he heartened, face lowering to mine. “Maybe you’re my hero.” “I hate maybes.” “And I love you,” he hummed. “Deeply and wildly out of my control.”
“It got so bad, I was in pain whenever you were around and in agony whenever you weren’t.”
“I have never in my life been reduced so completely to such a primal state before. I wanted you so madly, I felt it with every part of me. Every fiber, every molecule I possess, you possessed until you were all I thought about. You turned me into a man of want and need for something I couldn’t have… and you had fun with it.”
“Now it’s my turn to have fun, Ms. Sanders.” Except ‘fun’ sounded a hell of a lot like ‘payback is gonna be a kinky bitch.’
“Are you gonna be mean to me?” I asked, tracking my eyes over his sculpted face. “Extremely.” “Are you gonna let me come?” He held his answer back like he was really, truly considering it. “Eventually.”
“I’m going to put my mouth right here,” I gasped as he cupped my core, grabbing it like he owned it and washing my lips in his rough voice, “and I’m going to spell out my name and listen as you scream it.”
“But I’ll kiss your tears away as many times as you need me to, and I’ll never get tired of it.”
Death left us with nothing and everything at once: everything to say and nothing to say it to.
“It’s because we’re made of darkness that we’re able to see the little bit of light in each other.”
