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I turn to find a stubbled, ruggedly handsome face on the other pillow. The man wakes up slowly, bedroom eyes dreamy. His dark hair is tousled from what must have been an athletic night. The smile stretched across his face slowly collapses as he takes me in, and his eyes widen with shock.
If Mr. Darcy was a modern man with a rolling suitcase, a stick shoved way up his ass, and no actual redeemable qualities, he might be this guy.
Horseshit? Fuck you. I will defend my Belle and Mulan awesome warrior princess road comedy fan fiction to the fucking death.
Oh God. Think, Julia. Did you actually do the nasty? Did you fuck the Worst Guy Ever? And if you did, can you remember if he was good or not? Wow, brain. Not the time.
I need to fuck this woman. Now. And I think she wants me just as bad. Was I saying something before, about her being annoying? Overly sparkly? Fuck that asshole. Fuck him and send him right the fuck home. He had no idea.
“Oh. I mean, I’m eating now,” she says, sounding surprised. Right. Of course, she had a lunch meeting. I shrug. “That’s fine, I can tell Stacy—” “But I’m a hobbit. We believe in second luncheon. Where should I meet you guys?”
There was a good five minutes after they first put us into the van where she screamed something about sparkling ball sacks and dildos without Vaseline shoved into sensitive areas.
as Sherlock Holmes said, once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” Nate sighs.
It’s true that you never know. It’s not knowing that’s the hardest part of all.
“You have more fun with her than you do on your own. Everything’s an adventure. You’re compatible in the ways that matter. The sex is hot. And you trust that she’ll be next to you, no matter what happens.”
But hey, this is actual life. Kidnappers in balaclavas, breaking and entering to steal a parrot, all real. And in real life, you may not know exactly how something is going to go. You may not know in twenty-four hours exactly how the story will end. But you can have a pretty good idea.
