Mother Hunger: How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance

by Kelly McDaniel

Because portions of our limbic brain, specifically the amygdala where emotions are processed, are functioning at birth, initial human interactions are very important. Even as infants, we capture sensations about the environment (safety, belonging, joy, stress) in our implicit memory. Implicit memory is a primitive part of our innate intelligence, teaching us about safety and love before higher cortical areas of the brain develop and help us understand reality. From the last trimester of pregnancy through a baby’s second year of life, the brain doubles in size. During this time of rapid growth, a baby’s brain depends on her primary caregiver’s brain for emotional regulation—to soothe distress, to feel safe, and to trust human connection. She can’t yet “think” for herself. In other words, she needs her caregivers to translate love into baby language through sound, touch, and consistency.