when a mother treats her daughter as a friend, this is also a form of emotional abuse. The mother who tells her child, “You’re everything to me . . . I don’t know what I’d do without you,” isn’t mothering. She’s creating a confusing emotional bind for her child. A child hears these words and might feel special (I’m the favorite), which feels great at first but sets her up for disappointment and alienates her from the rest of the family. She might also feel afraid (Is Mom okay?) or excessively dutiful (I belong to Mom; it’s my job to protect her and keep her happy). This child may grow up to
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