Mother Hunger: How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance

by Kelly McDaniel

For 21 days, I encourage you to detox from regular exposure to your mother (or thoughts of your mother). To do so, you’ll want to practice healthy nurturance and avoid texting, talking, or being with her. For three weeks, try the following: Feed yourself as you would a young child. Avoid sugar, caffeine, and processed foods. Write down your thoughts and feelings as you notice them. This is one of the hardest healing tasks, but it’s essential. Make sleep a priority. Apps like Calm or Insight Timer are helpful for sleepless nights. Limit your exposure to social media. Check e-mail only when necessary during the workday. Practice spending time alone, without a romantic partner, family member, or friend to entertain, comfort, or distract you. Try practicing solitude in a conscious, present way. Put devices away at night. If you use your device to listen to a sleep or meditation podcast, set it to airplane mode or “do not disturb.” If all of this seems impossible, and you keep reaching for your mother only to find yourself hurt and disappointed again, consider seeking the help of a licensed therapist. A support group can be extremely helpful if you currently have addictive habits. Some groups have phone meetings as well as local meetings. I recommend the following: Overeaters Anonymous (OA): oa.org Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA): slaafws.org Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA): adultchildren.org Alcoholics Anonymous (AA): aa.org