An apology is not a denial. If someone tries to talk you out of your reality, that’s not an apology. That’s a way to avoid feeling remorse. Words like “Was it really that bad?” or “You’re being too sensitive” add insult to injury. This type of apology asks you to ignore how you feel and adds shame to the hurt. Shaming efforts hide behind false apologies, like when someone suggests, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” as if your feelings happened in a vacuum. Not only is this pseudo apology unhelpful, but if you were hurt before, now you’re probably mad too.
