Addiction may begin as a way to appease a mother and adapt to her vulnerability. The addictive behavior begins with the innocent hope that If I can simply do the right thing (say the right thing, be the right thing), she will protect and love me. I can calm down. Dr. Gabor Maté states, “At the core of every addiction is an emptiness based in abject fear.”30 Addiction is an attempt to regulate fear and despair—fear of being unlovable or alone, fear that grows without a fundamental sense of safety.
