Why is it we resist crucifying our desires? Why this gut-level, inner resistance to Jesus’s call? It’s not necessarily because we’re evil or even narcissistic; it’s because we’re scared. We’re scared of losing something we value, something we think (or feel) we need to live a happy life. Until we come to the place where we genuinely trust Jesus’s mental maps over our own intuition or feelings, and trust that God is a loving and wise Father with good intentions for our joy, death to self will remain an unwinnable war of attrition between the torn factions of our fragmented souls.
