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I was mildly annoyed that he wasn’t here. But his panicked texting was also weirdly endearing and I was in love with him. So fuck.
I was a bad friend and a bad boyfriend, and the reason people kept screwing me over and abandoning me was because I sucked and deserved it.
It’s been 2 years in a happy relationship but he kind of still is very much book 1 luc… who I love but 😅
I should probably be on that too. It’s been doing rather well.” “Has it?” “Oh yes. People do keep asking me to take my shirt off, though.”
😭😭😭😭
“I’m not opposed to marriage in general.” Oliver gave a tight little smile. “I’m just not the sort of person who can get invested in the trappings if I’m not invested in the couple.”
Hmmmmm so not into marriages huh
“Sorry. Yes. I do understand. I just—” The breath Oliver took next was so deep it became almost crackly over the phone line. “It doesn’t matter. You should go and be with Bridget.”
No ollie 💔💔💔
I’m sorry I let you down. I’m sorry I spoiled our evening, but I had to make a choice and I’m choosing to be a good friend instead of a good boyfriend.”
hmmm I don’t know why you are being so proud over it 🤡🤡
Oliver because he came to Bridge’s. Where he helped us reinvite the entire guest list and arrange transportation and accommodation for everybody who’d already arranged transport and accommodation for somewhere else entirely.
Ollie is such a good pookie 🥹
was happier than I had ever been in my life. So why did I feel like I was failing?
Cause you are comparing yourself to others 🙃🙃 how are we already at a second wedding
wedding of the man who’d ruined my life.
Third wedding
And I was, once again, the one left behind with nothing. Wait. No, I wasn’t.
wtf is this… your supportive loving boyfriend is right there with you ffs
“Oh my God, Oliver,” I hugged him in the hope of de-escalating. “I didn’t mean to make you feel… Shit, I’m a crappy boyfriend and you’re so great for doing this for me and you don’t have to like anything you don’t want to like and we can go if you—”
You kind of are. Not everyone is a flashy gay and you have to accept that 🙃
We can move at whatever pace you like. But you should know that I am yours, more truly than I have ever been anyone’s. Because when I’m with you, I’m me. Not someone I think I should be. And I’ll be with you, however you want, for as long as you’ll have me.”
OLIVER STOP SAYING SUCH SWEET THINGS IM TOO SINGLE FOR THIS
“We should get married.”
You were scared to move in together 2 mins ago????
It did kind of look…wonderful, and he looked wonderful wearing it. Because it was like this little piece of Oliver Blackwood was very visibly mine.
Luc is so stupidly in love this is kind of adorable 🥺😭 but ollie is so not into this 😓🙃
We do try. Daddy picked Mummy because Granddaddy said we needed some height in the line.”
The way my jaw just dropped 😟
is that you just seem like you’re naturally drawn to a lifestyle I feel alienated by and naturally alienated from a lifestyle I feel drawn to and…and that’s a crappy thing to realise when you’re about to marry somebody.”
Should be having these convos before proposal
love you and it’s not okay for people to treat you badly and I’m not going to say I was wrong to stand up for you.”
He’s so hard to be mad at 😭
“Then how about this,” said Oliver, elegantly pulling on his jacket. “I make good money now, so if you really believe that our obligations to each other are based entirely on what you’ve spent, sit down, add up what you think I owe you, and I will happily cut you a cheque.”
HE ATE THEM UP SO HARD!!!!!
“Oh, and Dad…” He shot one last look at his father. “Go fuck yourself.”
ICONIC LEGENDARY 🎉🍾👏👏👏
But I spent my entire life repulsed by his beliefs, terrified of his scorn, and desperate for him to think well of me.
“I’m a barrister. Clarity is my job. And what I’m saying is obviously I’d cope without you because wonderful as you are, I like to think this isn’t a codependent relationship. But I’d rather not have to. My life is more interesting with you in it, and you make me a worse person.”
And this morning we had the biggest fight we’ve basically ever had, and if you put a gun to my head, I’m not sure what it was really even about and just…is that what it’s going to be like? Is that what being married will be like?”
If the biggest fight you’ve ever had about is which band or dj will play at your wedding then you are fine fam 😭😭
Because I loved Oliver and I wanted to be with him for, like, ever, but the more I thought about it, the more I got this hard-to-pin-down not-quite-sick, not-quite-scared, not-quite-something feeling that we were doing it wrong.
My phone rang. It was Oliver, and I–I wasn’t in a space to be Olivering right now, so I let it go to voicemail. Which, again, didn’t say good things about my relationship. I bet James Royce-Royce never let James Royce-Royce’s calls go to voicemail. I bet Bridge never let Tom’s calls go to voicemail. I bet Prince Harry never let Meghan Markle’s calls go to voicemail. I bet Prince Charles never let Camilla Parker Bowles’s calls go to voicemail, although he probably should have, at least in the eighties.
WHY ARE YOU COMPARING YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO OTHERS
“Because I suppose you two knew everything about each other’s plans and goals and hopes and dreams before you even got engaged.”
Those are convos you have before proposing bestie
“In essence, yes.” He gave an anxious little sigh. “Because, in a way, you’re correct. I will never truly know if the reason if I am discomforted by the trappings of mainstream LGBTQ culture is because I was raised in an environment where they were viewed negatively. Or because I simply don’t feel included by them. Or, indeed, because I have legitimate concerns about their origins and increasing commercialisation. And, honestly, I don’t think there’s any way to disentangle those things.”
Pop off ollie
“That’s the problem. I’m not sure I want to be something that’s hard to get your brain around.”
Oh Oliver 💔
“When we first met,” he went on doggedly, “you were, we were both, but you especially were…in rather a bad place. And, sometimes, the person you need to be with when you’re in a bad place isn’t the person you want to be with when you’re…when you’re not.”
Oliver you are breaking my heart pookie 🥺🥺😭
“You…you’re a very entrancing man, Lucien. And you could be with someone equally entrancing, someone with whom your life could be interesting and glamorous. Instead of, I suppose, whatever I can offer you. Which is, by comparison, rather quiet and ordinary.”
“Actually, when I booked, I told them this was our first-date restaurant and that we’d had the lemon posset and you’d gone vegan since but could they do something. And they said they could.” Oliver’s eyes got very close to teary again. “Lucien.” He swallowed. “That was…that was terribly sweet of you.”
“I can’t marry you.”
“You bastard. You utter bastard.”
??? You want the same thing 😭
And then we ran. Hand in hand. Up the aisle. Out the doors. Through the venue.
The dumbest thing I’ve ever read fucking stupidity at its finest
