Husband Material (London Calling, #2)

by Alexis Hall

"WHAT KIND OF FUNDAMENTAL INCOMPATIBILITIES?" I definitely did not screech. “Because it feels like you’re blowing the balloon arch up out of all proportion. Which is, I suppose, at least appropriate for a balloon-based structure.” “It is not,” said Oliver tightly, “the fucking balloon—” He broke off abruptly as the waiter set down our pea-and-broad-bean rotolos. “Thank you very much.” Then unbroke equally abruptly. “Arch.” “I know, I know. It’s what…” I made the air-quotiest air quotes that ever air-quoted. “‘The balloon arch represents.’ Which doesn’t have to be anything, Oliver. It’s fucking balloons.” Oliver took a deep breath. I had a sinking feeling this was going to be logical and wordy. Which was sad because I usually found Oliver being logical and wordy very hot. “I realise you would prefer this to be simple, Lucien. But it isn’t. Over the past year, you’ve said some things to me that have required me to do a certain amount of self-reflection, and I need to know the conclusions I’ve reached are acceptable to you, especially if we’re going to spend our lives together.” I briefly put my throbbing head in my hands. “Is this relationship drama or a deposition?” “I’m not totally convinced you know what a deposition is.” Fair. “But,” he went on, “I’m trying to make this as clear as I can. Because I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings or for either of us to make any mistakes.” “You’re not a mistake,” I told him, less affectionately than the words suggested. “But ...