All I've Wanted All I've Needed

by A.E. Valdez

Even though everything feels like it’s falling apart, I can’t help but to also feel like everything is falling into place.

Instead of degrading myself for still loving and wanting him in my life, I accept that this is where I am. And things can change at any given moment.

It would be easy to go back home, back to him… back to all you’ve ever known. Sometimes comfort is what kills us.

You said you wanted more, right? Maybe this move is your more. Stop doubting yourself.”

Give thanks to yourself for being here today. Not only for making it to your mat, but more importantly, for showing up for yourself every single day. Starting each day anew even when you may not feel like it. The most important relationship we will ever cultivate is the one that we have with ourselves.”

“Whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed, whether it be here on your mat or out there in the world, remember you can come back to yourself.”

People can tell you what you are all day, but you really have to believe it yourself for you to be able to embody it. I’m getting there.

Letting go takes a lot of time, indecisiveness, and fuck ups before you can officially walk away and feel done.

But, if I don’t start now, then when will I start? I’m tired of waiting for things to happen when I can make things happen instead.

The majority of the pictures she takes don’t make it to her social media. They’re hanging all over the walls at her place.

When I walk to the checkout, some sunflowers catch my eye, so I buy those too because I know she loves them.

We stan a thoughtful man who knows what our favorite flowers are

I resolve that it isn’t my job to make them like me. Either they will or they won’t, and there isn’t anything I can do about it. Not just with them but with anyone. It becomes exhausting trying to appeal to people. When you start being yourself, you attract people who you naturally vibe with. I mean, look at Acyn and I.

I purposely took a few days off to slow down because I would prefer to not have a repeat of wearing myself into the ground. It’s hard not to do that when you’re doing something that you love.

It was hard to do things without her. I also felt like I was betraying her by doing happy, exciting things. Sometimes I still do. Except now, I do things in honor of her and to celebrate her.

“What did I do to deserve this?” I take the plate he’s holding out to me. “You exist. That’s all you need to do.”