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“Meaning, is he worth losing your sense of self
over?”
Maybe this is how I’ll find myself. I’m so comfortable in my familiarity that
I’ve lost myself in it. A change of scenery would be nice.
Bali has been healing for my heart. I’ve been able to find myself again. Fall in love with myself again. I’m ready for the next chapter of my life.
“I was serious about what I said all those years ago. I’m willing to get caught in an entanglement situation with you, whenever
you
Sometimes comfort is what kills us.
“Face your shit. You can’t run from good thing to good thing, hoping it will erase the bad shit that happened. It happened.
when I look up, and the air is stolen from my lungs.
“
There’s nothing wrong with being committed to yourself. When you’re not focused on love, that’s when it sweeps you up.”
The problem with comfort is that it makes it easier to slip into routines. It makes it easier for us to become stagnant. I don’t want to be stagnant, and that’s what I felt like with him. That I wasn’t growing and exploring.
I want the chance to know myself outside of being in a relationship. I want to fall in love with myself. No, I need to fall in love with myself.
People can tell you what you are all day, but you really have to believe it yourself for you
to be able to embody it. I’m getting there.
Okay, so I may have studied her a little harder than I let on to my sister.
Bronco.
“You’ll
want her around all the time. She has a magnetic personality and is one of the few genuine people that I know.”
It’s contagious. Once you hear it, you kind of want to make her laugh again and again just to get lost in the sound.
Harlow is comfortable enough with me to be herself which makes me feel good because I think she spends a lot of time second guessing herself. The second thing I learned is that Kyrell is one hundred percent right. She is magnetic.
“You light shit up.”
She’s a lot like the ocean, you know. Unpredictable and beautiful.
“September twenty-second.
“If you want to see me naked, you just have to ask,”
when he’s an ass but brings your favorite flowers,
I didn’t have to ask him for a thing. He just did it.
“Stop acting like you owe everybody something. You don’t owe anyone anything. The only person you owe something to is yourself. It’s okay to walk away from something that isn’t working for you.”
When she started stripping
on the beach, I felt like I had plunged into the icy water all over again. Every ounce of air I had left me. I held my breath the entire time I watched her peel off her clothes layer by layer.
a good reader of bullshit, but in this moment, I realize I would do anything for her.
Not the mundane kind of comfortable, where you fall into a routine and then shit goes stale. It’s the kind of comfort where I can be myself while giving me room to grow and evolve.
he wraps his arm around me, pulling me closer to him as we rest against the tree trunk.
When you start being yourself, you attract people who you naturally vibe with. I mean, look at Acyn and I.
The fire that I saw in them when we first met is there again. I’ve noticed it more lately, which causes me to feel tingly, like I have butterflies coursing through my veins. He swallows. “Uh… fuck… I just lost my train of thought. Let me help you with that,”
Butterflies Omg
“Yeah… you look beautiful, Sunshine.” His voice is deeper than usual, and it resonates in places that haven’t been spoken to in a while. “Better go let them in,” he says as he reluctantly tears his eyes from mine to go get the door.
overwhelming sense of belonging washes over me as I realize Acyn feels like home to me.
“What would I do without you, Acyn?”
“I ask myself the same question about you.” He keeps his eyes on the road as he grabs my hand to hold it.
We pull to a stop at a light, and he looks directly at me. “I’ll always miss you when you’re not with me.”
Harlow is more than just a friend to me.
I find myself not wanting to wait anymore.
I pull Harlow towards me, and she settles against my chest.
I wrap my arm around her neck as if it’s second nature.
I lean forward a little so my mouth is next
to her ear. “Let’s go find your dad, Sunshine.”
“I don’t like it,” I answer honestly.
“Yeah, nothing major.” I shrug. “Just something that reminded me of you.” May have been petty to say that, but it’s true.
She stands between my legs and grabs the collar of my shirt. My heart thumps in my chest at the simple gesture. “I think...” She raises the camera to her eye. “We may be...” She snaps a picture. “Past that.”
