All I've Wanted All I've Needed

by A.E. Valdez

“Give yourself some grace. It’s okay to not be okay. Plus, you have two amazing best friends to help you along the way.”

Even though everything feels like it’s falling apart, I can’t help but to also feel like everything is falling into place.

“All you’ll need for the next hour is yourself. Give thanks to yourself for being here today. Not only for making it to your mat, but more importantly, for showing up for yourself every single day. Starting each day anew even when you may not feel like it. The most important relationship we will ever cultivate is the one that we have with ourselves.”

People can tell you what you are all day, but you really have to believe it yourself for you to be able to embody it. I’m getting there.

Since I’ve been “adulting”, I’ve learned that things mean more to you when you’re invest in them for yourself.

“That’s low of them, but… people who fade in and out of your life… they don’t matter.

The ones who do matter will stand by your side regardless of what you got going on.”

“Never will I ever tire of the sun.

One where I can grow and don’t feel like I have to erase myself for their benefit.

“Black doesn’t crack either.

Harlow falls into a fit of laughter. It’s contagious. Once you hear it, you kind of want to make her laugh again and again just to get lost in the sound. It’s melodic and genuine. Sometimes when people laugh, it’s forced or out of nervousness, but with her, she finds the joy in whatever you tell her.

She doesn’t seem to water herself down for me, so I decide to be honest.

I want someone I can vibe with on every level.

She’s a sweetheart, but I can tell that there’s a side to her that you don’t want to cross. Something about the quiet ones.

I was hesitant to add on another commitment because I already feel like I’m spreading myself thin. But, if I don’t start now, then when will I start? I’m tired of waiting for things to happen when I can make things happen instead.

I’ve never met someone who has such a well-documented life.

The majority of the pictures she takes don’t make it to her social media. They’re hanging all over the walls at her place.

I haven’t lost anyone close to me but I imagine it makes you hold onto every happy...

I’m closer with her than my other two siblings. I’m the only boy in my family. I have two older sisters and then there is me. Sevyn is the youngest. For whatever reason, she latched on to me as a baby, and we’ve been close ever since.

Harlow is a lot like me in that she keeps certain things private.

You want me to follow you around. To be there for you but… you don’t really want me. You just want what I can provide for you. Which is funny, because you should know how that feels better than anyone, yet you fail to see it.”

“Stop acting like you owe everybody something. You don’t owe anyone anything. The only person you owe something to is yourself. It’s okay to walk away from something that isn’t working for you.”

I know she needs the space to figure herself out. I can appreciate and respect that. Most people hop from person to person, hoping they’ll find what the previous was lacking in the next.

There is something about the prolonged anticipation that makes the first time something out of this world.”

smashing at first sight isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

Staying in a situation because I feel like I owe someone something isn’t going to get me anywhere.

I can appreciate what someone has done for me, but that doesn’t mean I owe them something in return. I’m learning to have the courage to change my mind, whether it be about proposals or jobs – if they aren’t serving me – I can move on without permission.

I almost apologize, but I swallow it instead because I’m not sorry about doing what’s best for me.

“No, why would I be upset when you’re being honest and doing what you want?”

“Just because the job brought you here doesn’t mean that you’re tied to it. Life unfolds in interesting ways. If you hadn’t moved here, would you have discovered your passion for photography?”

Life truly does unfold in interesting ways.

Since he and Sevyn are only a little over a year apart, they’ve always been close.

When you start being yourself, you attract people who you naturally vibe with.

“I usually only save it for when I feel like going all out because it takes a while to cook.”

I once lost myself

he’s only ever pushed me to do things for the benefit of myself.

He’s let me know that I always have a choice and that I don’t owe anyone anything, him included.

I value our friendship… relationship too much. I wouldn’t want to jeopardize it by acting on feelings of desire.

Desire… is it just desire? No, if we were playing our game of hate, like, and love, I would be teetering on the edge of like. Ready to freefall into love.

He may be regretting agreeing to that now because I’m one of the few people who loves being in the heat of the sun.

“I’m staring because it’s hotter than the devil’s asshole, yet you don’t seem the least bit fazed.”

“I’m going to support your choice, but also know you can stop saying yes to shit you hate at any given time,” Acyn says.

That’s one thing I love about our friendship; we spend a lot of time together but we’re still our own people.

I’ve got my sun fix.

My God, and they say chivalry is dead.

With time, you realize people who were once your world matter a little less to you each day.

When you lose someone it makes you acutely aware of how fleeting time is. When we consider time, it’s for appointments, birthdays, milestones, celebrations, et cetera. We don’t consider time being a series of moments we will eventually miss.

I like to live life on the edge.

Shakin’ in my sneakers, Sunshine.

I don’t believe he and I will ever be compatible. I want to be my own person, and he wants me to follow him around,”