Acts of Violet

by Margarita Montimore

I didn’t disappear, I was present for all of it. —BRIT MARLING AND ZAL BATMANGLIJ, THE OA

Not conventionally beautiful but alluring, in the way that self-assurance gives people a special magnetism.

“When you’re rich and famous, you can get away with anything. You have no idea what I’ve gotten away with.”

She loves being a puzzle—she prides herself on it. Violet reveals different pieces of herself to different people, and nobody ever gets to see the full picture.

They call themselves survivors, the loved ones of those who went missing. But that’s not what I am, not really. I wish there was a special word for those of us living with ambiguous loss. There isn’t a language that feels right, a sensical way to parse out and assign definitions to the thoughts and emotions.

Usually, I don’t think of myself as surviving anything. Usually, I see myself as someone who was left behind.

Let me guess: aliens and Bigfoot don’t bring in sponsors like the dead and the missing. Hitching your wagon to the true crime train is a much more lucrative bet, isn’t it? Now you’ve got a chance to get the mattress companies and fancy toothbrushes and meal-kit delivery services on board. Do you personally get a cut of the ad revenue?

When asked about doing burlesque, Violet said it was all about being tantalizing, hinting at what you might reveal—the best burlesque dancers could drive a man crazy just by taking off their gloves.

what’s worse, having no hope or false hope? It has to be the second one … right?