Klutz: Phoenix Down (But Did You Die?, #1)
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17%
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My insurance premiums were probably lower than anyone else on the planet because I took exactly zero risks.  Yep. I was boring. Other than all the weird and accidental ways I managed to die. 
23%
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an unsalted pretzel, and as a serious lover of soft pretzels, that is a serious insult. 
41%
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So, I did the thing that only the insane would do, I extended my hand to pet him. Sure, it was crazy, but let’s be real… I always knew I would die trying to pet something I shouldn’t.
42%
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As my gaze drifted, I realized that vipers weren’t the only snakes in this jungle.
45%
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Give a girl food and she will tell you all her darkest secrets. It was definitely the way to my heart. 
60%
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What had changed to cause my lazy internal fire to suddenly develop a personality? 
61%
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My magic responded in my head with a happy little warble. What part of zap annoying pests did she not get? She must have a crush on Dagger because he had managed to move me on top of him without receiving so much as a static shock. What a traitor.  Idiot.
65%
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What did you do, Imp? Big bug. I zap.
66%
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How could he blame her for our wishy-washy treatment? She was responding to the mate bond call exactly as intended. We were the idiots who thought we knew better than the Fates. 
67%
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She landed on top of Anzac, her body riddled with bullets meant for him, the mate that had been so heartless in his treatment of her. 
71%
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“You are a selfish brat who threw a tantrum when she didn’t get her way!” “And you’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake!”
72%
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“Did you know you could command fire and control its form?” “Who is Imp?” “What did you do to the bond?”  “Will you take me as your mate?” “Next time, can I yell ‘release the kraken’ before you turn into flaming calamari?”
72%
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Don’t judge me. You try spending hours trudging through the muggy jungle, all the while donating more blood to insects than you ever did for blood drives, and I bet you would find sadistic pleasure in getting revenge too.