Klutz: Phoenix Down (But Did You Die?, #1)
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Read between January 6 - January 6, 2025
17%
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and I had several hundred books hidden under my bed.
AnaConda
... How big is her bed
19%
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They truly didn’t care if I lived or died. Well, the joke’s on them…because I can’t die. 
28%
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“I did it because some pitiful part of my heart thought they were mine. Stupid, stupid girl.” The tears rolling down my cheeks mingled with the sweat. It was now or never.  “I always dreamed of flying,” I said before I turned and stepped off the cliff.
AnaConda
She has a whole monologue out loud just to let them know what she is feeling... 1. Lazy af, 2. That is such a CORNY line, jesus
32%
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“The little warrior is ours.” 
33%
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She had the curves of a high-end sports car. Her breasts were not large in a fake way, but they were far from small. She had a tiny waist that flared out at her hips, giving her a perfect hourglass shape. Her stomach was taut, with the toned look of someone who took care of themselves. 
AnaConda
Was this written by a 13 year old on wattpad
35%
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She had five mates, and we were among the most powerful shifters alive, and yet she had been the one to protect us. 
36%
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She could have spent those last moments of her life being held by her mates, but we had driven her away. My mate had died hurting. 
38%
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I felt a pang of guilt toward my shadow at breaking my agreement with them, but I recognized that I would never again be able to walk away from my feisty little mate. I would spend forever trying to gain her forgiveness.
38%
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“Ours,” he murmured in my head.  “Yes. Always,” I agreed.
40%
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This big kitty sure knew how to wake up my kitty.
AnaConda
Blank stare
42%
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There was a pause, and then the jaguars morphed into human bodies. All in their birthday suits. As my gaze drifted, I realized that vipers weren’t the only snakes in this jungle.
AnaConda
This book would be fire if I was on psychedelics rn
47%
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“I can’t believe we have a mate that was just killed. By a bug.”
AnaConda
i can't believe any of this either
48%
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“They want to have sex with you, and not gentle lovemaking. Then they want to sink their teeth into you, leaving the marks of their claim on your skin. At this moment it’s taking every bit of their self-control to not take you right here, right now.”
AnaConda
She came back to life less than a minute ago. CAN YOU GIVE HER A SECOND ORRRR
50%
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Without hesitation, he sank two fingers deep inside my sensitive folds.
AnaConda
You have been walking around the rainforest sweating and touching shit for days. That uti is gonna be deadly girlll
51%
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Yet, they had still tried to watch out for me the best they could.
AnaConda
WHEN??? When they literally ran from you, hoping you would DIE??
53%
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She may choose to never complete the claim, and we would honor her choice, but we were forever hers.
54%
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Shut the ever-loving front door!”  The words were out of my mouth before I could yank them back.
AnaConda
Im so embarrassed for her
55%
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We were about as compatible as cats and dogs. Actually, birds and cats made more sense. Get it? Because I’m a phoenix! Man, I can be so punny sometimes. 
AnaConda
I hate her
61%
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I would survive, even if it killed me.
65%
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He was mine, at least for now, and nobody kills what is mine.
66%
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She was responding to the mate bond call exactly as intended. We were the idiots who thought we knew better than the Fates. 
72%
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“You could have killed me!” Anzac snapped.
AnaConda
ooooooooh i WONDER what that’s like you hypocrite
75%
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rod.
AnaConda
JUST SAY COCK
77%
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Forget the cat that caught the canary, this phoenix had just caught her a jaguar. 
82%
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What if she was pregnant? The need to get her somewhere safe overwhelmed and added to my panic and I felt my vision dim. As my body dropped to the ground, I heard my mate’s voice. “Did I electrocute him with my vajingo?”
AnaConda
what are we doing here?
93%
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This would have been far more effective if I had actually grown at all after my twelfth birthday.
AnaConda
Oh my GOD authors and their size differences are genuinely ridiculous
99%
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Don’t send help, because I’ve got this... as soon as I find some clothes.
AnaConda
Has she been clothed at ANY point in this book?? Running around the rainforest, kitty and tits out