At Your Best: How to Get Time, Energy, and Priorities Working in Your Favor

by Carey Nieuwhof

a clear, simple strategy for how to say no (nicely). 1. Tell them you’d love to meet with them. That’s probably the truth. In a perfect world, you likely would love to meet with them. And that’s a great, honest place to start. So start there…but don’t stop there. Keep moving through the next steps. 2. Express empathy. Empathy defuses tension. Let them know you understand where they’re coming from. You’re on their side and want to be helpful even if you can’t meet with them. 3. Be firm. Even when you express it with kindness, make sure your answer is direct. Let them know that as much as you’d love to meet, you’re not going to. Saying no sounds like this: “In order to honor my other commitments, I’m going to decline.” “As much as I’d love to, I’m afraid I’m not in.” “I’m so sorry. That’s not going to work.” “I’m not available.” “Thank you, but I’m going to pass.” What unites all these variations is they’re all clear. There’s no false hope. It’s just no. Providing a reason isn’t necessary, but it can help to say something like “in order to honor my current commitments” or “because I have to focus on this next project” or “for the foreseeable future I just don’t see how I can make this work.” None of us can do it all. Remind yourself that you can’t prioritize the people who matter most to you if you say yes to everyone else. 4. Redirect them. Maybe you can’t help them, but someone else might be able to. If there’s someone better suited to help them or another organization (or...