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Any government will work if authority and responsibility are equal and coordinate. This does not insure “good” government; it simply insures that it will work. But such governments are rare—most people want to run things but want no part of the blame. This used to be called the “backseat-driver syndrome.”
What are the facts? Again and again and again—what are the facts? Shun wishful thinking, ignore divine revelation, forget what “the stars foretell,” avoid opinion, care not what the neighbors think, never mind the unguessable “verdict of history”—what are the facts, and to how many decimal places? You pilot always into an unknown future; facts are your single clue. Get the facts!
Stupidity cannot be cured with money, or through education, or by legislation. Stupidity is not a sin, the victim can’t help being stupid.
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
If tempted by something that feels “altruistic,” examine your motives and root out that self-deception. Then, if you still want to do it, wallow in it!
The most preposterous notion that H. sapiens has ever dreamed up is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of all the Universes, wants the saccharine adoration of His creatures, can be swayed by their prayers, and becomes petulant if He does not receive this flattery. Yet this absurd fantasy, without a shred of evidence to bolster it, pays all the expenses of the oldest, largest, and least productive industry in all history.
The second most preposterous notion is that copulation is inherently sinful.
Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires.
Everybody lies about sex.
If the universe has any purpose more important than topping a woman you love and making a baby with her hearty help, I’ve never heard of it.
Money is the sincerest of all flattery. Women love to be flattered. So do men.
Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.
If you happen to be one of the fretful minority who can do creative work, never force an idea; you’ll abort it if you do. Be patient and you’ll give birth to it when the time is ripe. Learn to wait.
Never crowd youngsters about their private affairs—sex especially. When they are growing up, they are nerve ends all over, and resent (quite properly) any invasion of their privacy. Oh, sure, they’ll make mistakes—but that’s their business, not yours. (You made your own mistakes, did you not?)
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.”
“Sorry, dear. But there is always a last mistake. I’ll do my damnedest to see that this is not my last mistake—because it must not happen to you.
The centuries may not give a man wisdom, but he acquires patience or he doesn’t live through them.
Praise them, never scream at them, punish as necessary and right now—never a moment’s delay—then it’s over with and forget it. Be as lavish with affection after a spanking as any other time—or a bit extra.
There is only one dangerous animal, yet at times you’re forced to pretend that he’s as sweet and innocent as a cobra.
She taught me to love by loving me, and I learned—rather slowly; I wasn’t too good a pupil, being set in my ways and lacking her natural talent. But I did learn. Learned that supreme happiness lies in wanting to keep another person safe and warm and happy, and being privileged to try.
I do not mean the innocence of childish ignorance; I mean the true innocence of an intelligent, informed, adult woman who has no evil in her.
(married couples always start out as strangers no matter how long they’ve known each other)
Be what you are, and be it in style!”
If you are part of a society that votes, then do so. There may be no candidates and no measures you want to vote for but there are certain to be ones you want to vote against. In case of doubt, vote against. By this rule you will rarely go wrong.
This sad little lizard told me that he was a brontosaurus on his mother’s side. I did not laugh; people who boast of ancestry often have little else to sustain them. Humoring them costs nothing and adds to happiness in a world in which happiness is always in short supply.
Natural laws have no pity.
Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other “sins” are invented nonsense.
Formal courtesy between husband and wife is even more important than it is between strangers.
Time is your total capital, and the minutes of your life are painfully few.
“Oh, yes, I do! Sometimes she goes away, but I’m always right here.”
I’m always better off with a family; it keeps me harmlessly occupied and unbored.
Each individual lives her life in now independently of how others may measure that life in years.
Lazarus says that a frightened child needs to be picked up and cuddled now, not later. He believes in spanking right now, too; it evens out, our kids are neither spoiled nor timid.
Then he looked grimly at himself in the bathroom mirror. “You stupid arsfardel,” he said with slow intensity. “You whirling son of a bitch. Can’t you do anything right?”
“You still don’t understand,” the Gray Voice droned on. “There is no time, there is no space. What was, is, and ever shall be. You are you, playing chess with yourself, and again you have checkmated yourself. You are the referee. Morals are your agreement with yourself to abide by your own rules. To thine own self be true or you spoil the game.” “Crazy.” “Then vary the rules and play a different game. You cannot exhaust her infinite variety.” “If you would just let me look at your face,” Lazarus muttered pettishly. “Try a mirror.”
“Bad . . dream. Thought . . I was . . dead.” “Just a dream, Beloved. You cannot die.”
