Mother of Death & Dawn (The War of Lost Hearts, #3)

by Carissa Broadbent

It’s not all that hard to keep yourself sane, so long as you’re flexible with your definition of the term.

“Five hundred years is a very long time,” he said, at last. “One hundred and eighty thousand days, and I thought of you in every one.”

“We are simply removing sensory distractions,” Blif’s voice said. I still had many sensory distractions.

Max told you he wanted to spend his life with you, and you didn’t give him an answer. Why?” I squeezed my eyes shut and looked away. “Because it is easier for you,” he said. “You’re willing to sacrifice everything you have for your people. But fighting for their future won’t be any easier for you if you don’t give yourself a future to fight for.”

A realization came to me, one that I had been grappling with for the last ten years. There was no single moment when everything changed. No single before and after. There was just… life. A million decisions and a million consequences.

“Listen,” he said, after a long pause. “I’m not much for words, so I’ll only say this once. If you ever have to guess what I want, or what is best for me, it is you. Alright? I have made that decision already. I do not make it lightly. Don’t disrespect that by claiming that you know better for me than I do. I have made bad decisions before. But you are not, never have been, and never will be one of them. It is always you.”

“I need verbal confirmation of your understanding, Vytezic,” Max murmured between kisses. “I understand, captain.” His lips curled into a sly smile. “General. I was promoted, remember.” “Don’t get too full of yourself, mysterious snake man.”

“Are you telling me that your vengeance is more important than saving our people?”

“When this is all over,” he said, softly, “maybe it won’t be about surviving anymore.”

“Congratulations,” he said, when he saw me. “You’re a hero. Again.” My stomach turned. Hero. Sure. How come that word was only applied to me when a bunch of people were dead? I wanted to say, Are we looking at the same city?

“Do you want to know a secret?” “What?” “I wish the world held itself to the standards that you do.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Max said, beneath his breath. It’s nothing, I could have said. You just have to sound strong but also relatable, proud but also humble, aggrandizing but also honest, hopeful but also realistic, and all without sounding rehearsed. Easy!

“Do not fear death, my daughter. We all walk with one foot in each world. There is beauty in impermanence. And what sad lives we would live, if we never loved anything we would lose.”

“You have a chance to make another story, Aefe. Make it one of creation, of life. Not destruction. I want better for you than to burn alive in your own rage.”

I scoffed over my shoulder. “I thought you said you had work to do?” “I do. In ten minutes. Or until however long it takes Moth to accidentally destroy something.” He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. “We have to take what we can get.”

“Your heart is a part of my heart,” he said. “Even with an ocean between us.”