You're My Home

by Katie Moore

“Oh buddy, is that what you’re tearing yourself apart over? Did you really think you would lose me because you’re gay?” He continues without me answering, “You’re my best friend, and I love you. Gay or straight, it doesn’t change anything. You are who you are, and I love the person you are. If you’re gay, you’ve been gay this whole time, and I loved you then, so I’ll love you now.”

“I know you never would intentionally, but you’re young, and teenagers do stupid things. I think you’re mature beyond your years, and I am so proud of the young man you’re becoming. I’m only cautioning you because I see the bond you have with Zach, and I’m not sure you truly understand what it would mean to lose that. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime kind of friendship…love…and so many go through life searching for what you’ve found so young. Many never find it.”

“All I’m saying, Son, is that when it comes to Zach, think before you react and don’t take all the love and trust he gives you for granted. Someday you’ll truly understand the depth and beauty of what he gives you. And what you give him.” His hand moves down over my heart. “You’ve given him a lot of space in here. Take care of your heart, Son, because that boy in the kitchen is most of it.”

“Zach, this is for you. You’re the strongest person I know, and I’m proud of you every second of every day. I want you to never be ashamed of who you are because you have the most beautiful heart, and anyone would be lucky to be even a fraction of the person you are.” Oh my God, he’s standing in front of all these people for me. Avery takes my hand as Brady continues. “As you all have probably seen the video, you know that two students were bullied this week. One for being gay and one for trying to stop the bullying. Bullied by guys that were bigger and stronger than them. “How many times have you heard someone cutting another student down? How many times have you seen someone shove a student or bully them? How many times have you done nothing? We all do nothing because we don’t want to be the next target. We all do nothing because we don’t want to stand up alone. “Bullies are cowards that have to cut another person down to make themselves feel better. They aren’t better than us, and no one should have to come to school being scared of what might happen…of whether or not they will be judged for what they wear or how they look.” I glance around the stadium, and every student is transfixed by Brady. “As for being bullied because you’re gay…it sickens me. Aren’t we the generation that vows to stop homophobia? Aren’t we the generation that is inclusive and proud to accept every person regardless of gender or sexual orientation? Aren’t we the generation that can change the narr...

“Would you say books are your passion?” “I would say it’s my second passion for sure. I read constantly and feel like every book teaches me something new, takes me on a new journey.” “What’s your first passion?” My cheeks warm and I stammer before saying, “My soulmate.” She nods, taking me seriously. “Ah yes, love is always the first passion of a poet, and you have a poet’s heart. You fall in love with words and thoughts, written down to woo your heart and calm your mind, filling up your soul with passion.” “That’s beautiful,” I whisper, loving how she expressed it because it rings so true to me.

“Son, you’re going to find greedy, shallow people throughout your entire life. It happens. You can’t control people and what they do, only your reaction to their behavior. Don’t give them a single part of you, not even your anger. Feel it for a moment, but then move on. They are of no meaning or value in your life. They only have power if you give it to them, so don’t. It’s over and done with. Learn from it and move on.” His words settle on my shoulders, and I let out the anger I was feeling. “You’re right, thanks, Dad. You always seem to know what to say.”

“No, we broke up because she has issues and apparently only wanted my trust fund. But I would have broken up with her for you and had no regrets.” Connor makes a choking noise. “Are you kidding me? Your trust fund? What is this, Riverdale teenage show of shallow idiots?” Laughter escapes from my chest over the way he says things. “Seems that way.”

“I have enough money. He doesn’t need it,” Brady tells his dad. Dad moves a pen around on his desk, and I know he’s about to impart some of his wisdom. “I think you should take the money. The man put you through hell, and it’s only fitting that you should have it. He would hate it, which is a bonus. But mainly, I think you should use it for your life plan. You want to help foster kids and give them a home, so use the money for something good like that. Kids are expensive, and maybe you won’t need it, but maybe you will. Maybe one will need help with college. Maybe you decide you want a child who is biologically yours, and surrogacy is expensive. Don’t throw away money that could help you or help someone you love. Bring something good out of what hurt you so much in the past.” He always knows what to say to put things in perspective. The monster would hate it if I spent the money on Brady or foster kids. “Okay, I’ll take it and use it to give to others.”

Brady and I walk out to our vehicle together, and he breaks the silence by saying, “Is there anything Wyatt could have done wrong to deserve that?” I give him a horrified look at his question. “No, of course not. He’s so young and easy to love. Nothing he did could make him deserve that.” Brady stops to meet my eyes. “Exactly, that was you back then. You always thought you did something wrong. Sometimes, I think deep down, you still believe you were somehow to blame. Tell yourself what you would tell Wyatt.” His words sink into me, and I struggle not to cry. Brady wraps me up in his arms, pressing his lips to my forehead. “You were so tiny and sweet…easy to love.” “Thanks, Brady,” I say with feeling when I can finally talk again. He’s right. I have questioned what I did wrong to make them do to me what they did—so many times. But now I see myself like I see Wyatt,