You're My Home

by Katie Moore

I have found my person, and I can handle anything as long as I don’t lose him.

“Do you think we’ll be friends forever?” There’s a tremble in his voice that makes me roll onto my side so I can see his face. “Yes, friends forever. You’re going to be my best friend for life, I promise.”

“I solemnly swear to be your best friend forever. I’ll always be here for you and love you, no matter what happens.”

“I solemnly swear to be your best friend and to never leave you. I’ll never hurt you and will always love you. No matter what happens.”

You’re the most important person in my life, and I want you everywhere I am, all the time. It’s not the same when you’re not with me.”

“You’re my best friend, and I love you. Gay or straight, it doesn’t change anything. You are who you are, and I love the person you are. If you’re gay, you’ve been gay this whole time, and I loved you then, so I’ll love you now.”

The stress of the day fades away with Zach next to me. He has this gentleness about him that I’ve honestly never seen in anyone else. Even my mom isn’t as gentle as Zach. Every touch seems measured so he doesn’t hurt anyone. Every single word from him means more than an entire conversation with someone else.

Someday you’ll truly understand the depth and beauty of what he gives you. And what you give him.” His hand moves down over my heart. “You’ve given him a lot of space in here. Take care of your heart, Son, because that boy in the kitchen is most of it.”

And the thing is, I don’t think he has a clue how attractive he is. Right now, he looks so young and small, but when he gets a little older, he’s going to draw eyes to him, just by being him.

Everything is divided in my mind like a river running between the desert and a flowery meadow. Everything before Brady and everything after. Nothing matters before him and everything matters after him. He’s the river that brings life to me. He’s the butterflies and flowers, the sun and the warmth it shines down.

If he’s not close, I want him close.

“Do you ever get tired of saving me?” He’s asked me this one time before, but I know he needs the reassurance. “No…” I comb his hair with my fingers. “You save me, too, you know.”

“He loves you, Zach. I know he does.” A few tears leak down my cheeks, and I close my eyes. He loves me, but he’s not in love with me.

“It’s hard to picture you as some manly man. You’ve got that whole twinkish, pretty boy thing going on.” “Pretty boy? Are you saying I’m pretty?” He rolls his eyes. “Yes, I’m saying you’re pretty.”

I know that me holding a boy my age is different, but Zach’s needs will always supersede what people think of it. He’s my family and my best friend.

Not having him buried into me is like missing a part of myself. How am I going to do this for four months?

“It’ll never happen again. He’s gone, and I would never let anyone hurt you.” If only that included him because he has the power to hurt me far more than anyone else, and it’s a pain much worse than what the monster dealt out.

“My home is with you,” he says instantly.

There’s this love that is almost tangible in the air around you two. He loves you; anyone can see that. And here at home, he watches you all the time. It’s like you’re the center of his universe. If you hadn’t told me he was straight, I’d have thought you were a couple who were truly in love.”

It’s so fucking hot to watch his eyes with this desperate, needy look of desire. Moving my hand up slightly, I trace the edge of his trunks, and his eyes flare with anticipation. “Are you going to come for me when I touch you?”

“During this…your cock is mine to touch and only mine,” he growls against my neck.

every last drop before swallowing again. “Jesus…baby, I’ve never seen anything as hot as you kneeling there with your tongue out, begging for my cum.”

I reach my finger around inside of him, searching for the spot that will bring him more pleasure. I know I’ve found it when he lets out this incoherent moan of pleading, his body arching up into my mouth like he’s been zapped. Rubbing that spot makes his cock even harder, and I feel his hands in my hair as he begs. “Ohgodohgod…Brady please…please I need to come…please Brady…oh God…fuck…”

“God, you’re beautiful,” I whisper, tracing my finger over his lips.

He’s mine. How many times has that thought run through my head over the years? My Zach. He’s always been mine. Now I’m feeling this possessiveness even stronger, and I’m not sure what that means for the future.

“I wanted you all day, baby. Do you have any idea how much I want to be inside of you?” He whimpers, his eyes glazing over as he looks at me. “You want that, don’t you? My cock pushing inside of you until I come and fill you up.”

“I think you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. Especially those dark green eyes of yours.” A tear escapes down his cheek, and I kiss that, too. “You are beautiful, baby.”

“Brady, I need you inside of me. Please…I need you.”

“You’re my home. Don’t you get that? You are my home. You’ve always been my home. Always will be. But right now, I need you to give me some space because you hurt me.” He rubs his hand over his heart. “You really hurt me.”

“I want a relationship with him!” I shout, getting off the bed to pace in front of him. “He’s mine! He’s always been mine!”

“I love him, Dad. I love him so much it hurts. It’s painful because what if something happens to him or he dies? It’ll be like my heart dies.”

What if every time you’re together, it’s more powerful than the last time? What if you love each other so much that life is beautiful? What if you have a family and support each other in every way? What if Zach laughs and smiles at you every day for the rest of your life?”

“I love you, Zach. I want to be with you in every way. I want to be boyfriends and lovers. I want to plan a future with you. I want us to travel together, get married, and have kids. I want it all.” His thumb runs over my lips. “It’s always been you. I was just too stupid to realize that my body wanted you, also.”

“You’re my heart,” he says, his own eyes filling with tears. “You’re my heart. Always have been and always will be.”

“I didn’t know this is what it’s supposed to feel like. Passion and magic and heat, all wrapped up in the gift called love. It’s like my body is suddenly awake and never wants to sleep again. You do this to me, baby. You.”

“You are the only one that I’ll ever want to call home.”