I reached into my pocket, taking out the plastic fork I’d used to eat my dinner and dropped down, jamming it right into his eye. He screamed like a baby and I pounded his large gut while he tried to deal with the fork sticking out of his face with shaking fingers. Nasty, nasty shit that. Eye forks were no laughing matter. Except to me. Because I was laughing my ass off.
cue me staring out my window in shock for 10 or more seconds
