The Intangible

by C.J. Washington

“You asked me the other day why I was so hurt by the argument Derrick and I had over quitting IVF.” Patrick nodded. Amanda was thoughtful. “His focus on the money, those damn prepaid treatments, made it all feel so transactional and like my body was part of the transaction. We paid for a child, and my body needed to deliver.”

New connections don’t erase the past. They allow us to appreciate it.

“When I look back now, I realize that I own the good moments. I had a happy childhood before my parents left. Their leaving doesn’t change that. I had good times with Jen before the drugs. Nothing can take that away. Our marriage.” Her voice cracks, and she pauses. “We loved each other, and you made me happy. If I made you half as happy as you made me, our marriage was a success. Even if it wasn’t forever.”

She learned that mothering wasn’t limited to those who give birth.