All My Rage

by Sabaa Tahir

I don’t know if I believe in hell, but if it had a sound, it would be the strangled howl of your father finally realizing that the love of his life is being put into the ground.

I’ll survive this. I’ll live. But there’s a hole in me, never to be filled. Maybe that’s why people die of old age. Maybe we could live forever if we didn’t love so completely. But we do. And by the time old age comes, we’re filled with holes, so many that it’s too hard to breathe. So many that our insides aren’t even ours anymore. We’re just one big empty space, waiting to be filled by the darkness. Waiting to be free.

“McCann’s my name and not my thieving ex-husband’s. Haven’t seen that bastard in seventeen years and I thank the Lord for it.”

“You? You’re nothing. It should have been you in that hospital bed. Not her.”

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