Basically, conservatives treat the due process clause as if it’s an evil djinn. It technically has to grant you three wishes—life, liberty, and property—but it hates you and is constantly trying to interpret your request in the most literal, least generous way so it can deny you the benefits of the very thing you asked it for. “You asked for the right to marry, you didn’t say anything about the right to start a family: request for adoption denied, gay people. Mwahahaha.” Meanwhile, liberals treat the due process clause like it’s the genie from Aladdin. Not only will it grant you your wishes of
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