Allow Me to Retort: A Black Guy’s Guide to the Constitution

by Elie Mystal

Conservatives are out here acting like the Constitution was etched by divine flame upon stone tablets, when in reality it was scrawled out over a sweaty summer by people making deals with actual monsters who were trying to protect their rights to rape the humans they held in bondage.

The Constitution is not gospel, it’s not magic, and it’s not even particularly successful if you count one civil war, one massive minority uprising for justice that kind of worked against tons that have been largely rebuffed, and one failed coup led by the actual president, as “demerits.” It was written by a collection of wealthy slavers, wealthy colonizers, and wealthy antislavery white men who were nonetheless willing to compromise and profit together with slavers and colonizers. At no point have people of color or women been given a real say in how it was written, interpreted, or amended.

(ammosexual is the scientific categorization for a person who fetishizes firearms and can’t win at Scrabble)

The absolutist interpretation of the Second Amendment is new, but using gun rights or gun control, as necessary, to maintain racial dominance is old.

If I could have one white superpower, it would be the fucking nerve of these people.

I cannot make people less racist. I cannot change hearts and minds. But I can make damn sure that racists and misogynists don’t have the protection of law while they’re doing their racism and misogyny in the name of the government.

Nothing decent can overcome a conservative court. That’s something that modern liberals and progressives should always remember.

What’s going on here is the interplay between three competing spheres of rights: political rights, civil rights, and social rights. Political rights are the rights to participate in the democracy: the right to vote, or hold elective office. Civil rights are the rights to participate in the economy: the right to own a home, or buy land. Social rights are the rights to participate in society: the right to get married, or throw a party.

Help Black women or get out of their goddamn way.