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March 13 - March 14, 2020
That was how this new world worked. I knew that even at age twelve.
You, a girl. That’s what he meant. Like owning a vagina made me inferior in some fundamental way.
There will be no honor to my sacrifice. Women who have filled the role of temptress have always been looked down upon.
I look out the window. My hands are shaking. Soon the rest of my body will follow suit, and then I’ll have to truly feel again. Once that happens I’m going to wish I were dead. As it is, my head pounds as it tries to disassociate itself from all that just happened.
“You must’ve been some kisser,” our driver mutters under his breath.
“Aw,” I give him a fake pout, “is someone having buyer’s remorse?” The king’s finally realizing just what a handful I can be.
I’m talking about war—about being a woman raised on a diet of pain and punishment. Where evil is avenged with more evil. It will never be enough to remedy the world.
She’s the most fearless person I know. My opinion of her only increases when she slugs Will, and again when she pulls his own gun on him. It doesn’t take a genius to know I married up.
What you choose to do with all that anger is your business. But you can’t control the world; someone will always be there to wrong you. It’s your choice to let it go. Only you can decide the woman you want to be.”
Now I’m married to that very man, and he’s no longer so easily compartmentalized.
For a split second he looks at me like I’ve betrayed them. No, I have something much stupider in mind.
Something sharp lodges itself in my throat at their instantaneous decision to cover me; they surely knew they were sacrificing themselves.

