Weirdo Don’t tell her I said this, but The Moose is a fucking weirdo. She likes people. She talks to them. She’s hospitable. I mean, she literally invites people over, to the house, for extended periods of time. I know! What is the matter with her? To make matters worse, she talks to them about her feelings. What the actual fuck? Sometimes, I’m in the bathroom, holding a flannel to my nose, and I can hear her talking about her emotions. What a freak. I’ve explained to her, countless times, that feelings are like pickled eggs – best left unopened, no matter how drunk you are. Then what you do
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