A Practical Guide to Conquering the World (The Siege, #3)

by K.J. Parker

If it turns out that I’m wrong, and that God exists and I am his prophet, the first thing I’ll say to him will be: how could you do such a thing? How could you use me like that? He will most likely answer: stop moaning. You’re a translator, nothing more or less. Your words and actions; my ideas. You don’t have to believe what you say so long as you translate accurately. To which I reply: I’m an interpreter. My job is to take the real meaning and put it into a form that can be understood and acted on. Real, I shan’t add, in the Sashan sense. I use words carefully, and between translation and interpretation there’s a sliver of difference, as thin as a knife blade. Very thin, but it’s amazing the difference a knife can make. All the intended consequences in my life have turned to shit and all the unintended ones have turned to gold. Everything I’ve touched I’ve translated, into one thing or the other. But this conversation will never take place because he doesn’t exist. He’s not real (except, just possibly, in the Sashan sense). And when I meet him, I intend to tell him that, to his face.