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Rain was like night. You could be different in the dark and under the clouds.
“We’re only ever good because there are consequences,” I told her. “Take those away, and everyone shows their true self. Kind of like taking off a mask.”
My friends were simply mine. That was it. They were separate from what happened at home, in class, or even in my head sometimes. That’s what I liked about them. When we were together, we were a planet.
“Do you feel that?” he whispered. “What?” His long arms blanketed mine, my hands resting inside his. “You fit me like a shirt. It’s a perfect mold.”
I was going to fall hard if he wasn’t careful.
“There’s something about you, kid,” he said, still watching the road ahead. “I don’t know what it is, but most of the time, teaching those classes, meeting with contractors, talking to my friends, shit . . .” He shook his head. “I can barely stand it. I even have trouble chewing my goddamn food most of the time.” And then he looked over at me, shifting into fifth. “But not around you. Around you, I get hungry. Like I’m starving.”
“Keep looking at me like that,” Kai spoke up, “and we’re going to have problems.”
“No matter how you cover yourself, it’s never enough. You’re beautiful.”
“How much can I spend?” she asked. “I’ll call you when the text alerts start scaring me.”
Out of all the women, my mind always found her.
“You make me feel driven. You make me hungry and on fire and wanting to slow down time instead of wanting to rush through it. It’s you I look for when I walk in the doors in the morning. Not her. You.”
I loved how he looked up at me and just stared. I loved how his right eye pierced a little more than the left. And I loved how just the sight of him made my stomach flip.
“Well, good. Happy to hear it, because I’m the only man whose attention you should be trying to get, and baby, you got it years ago while wearing another man’s clothes.” He kissed my temple, his hot breath sending chills down my spine. “So, you can imagine how fucking beautiful you are to me right now wearing mine.”
“Rika is my earliest memory, and I’ve loved her forever. The sun rises with her. It always has. And everything we do, we do together. Everything.”
“Damon eats pain,” I told her. “He will find some way to take it and twist it and fit it down his throat, so he can swallow it. He’s made of it. You all can endure it until you overcome it, but Damon . . . he wants to be in hell.”
Kai grabbed me, wrapping his arms around my torso, under my arms, and lifting me up. “I love you,” he whispered against my lips as he backed us away from the others. “And he can send me to prison again for a very long time. I’m not letting that happen now that I’ve found you. Please.”
“She tenses when I touch her,” Kai told him. “It’s subtle, and it’s only for a moment, but it takes her off guard, like she’s not used to it.”
“She’s got a great imagination, but I think she’s even better at taking care of business,”
“She’s going to be in charge of things someday, and even though I don’t know what exactly...
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“And I even like her in men’s clothes,” he said, softening his voice. “As...
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“It was always for life, kid.”
He was the devil. But once, she thought he was an angel. A dark and beautiful angel.