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But if it were me, wouldn’t I expect to mean more to the man I was going to marry than his friends?
“I love you guys,” Michael said, “but are you fucking dense? You’re my friends. She is everything. Maybe someday you’ll know what the fuck I’m talking about.”
And he certainly wasn’t the only man who didn’t want his woman around my father.
CHAPTER 22
“Well, good. Happy to hear it, because I’m the only man whose attention you should be trying to get, and baby, you got it years ago while wearing another man’s clothes.” He kissed my temple, his hot breath sending chills down my spine. “So, you can imagine how fucking beautiful you are to me right now wearing mine.”
“And I heard you made a comment about taking it ‘in both ends.’”
And clearly she has no choice but to do just that, because it would never occur to Michael to be jealous or possessive or angry. He would never be troubled with grand gestures, would he?
“No one judges us, and we’ll roll right over anyone who tries. You got that? Look in the fucking mirror the next time you want to cast aspersions on her character. All you’ll see is your own self-hate and jealousy. What you don’t know about us is a lot.”
“She’s fine,” Michael offered.
Michael calm down wtf
He turned to her, casting a quick glance at Kai. “Kai got you. Why shouldn’t I have her once?”
WHAT IS WRONG WITH MICHAEL IN THIS BOOK
“You’re very beautiful,” Michael said, turning back to me, his eyes softening. “Rika had Kai. Do you want to have me? And then everyone’s even?” I was dumbfounded. He wasn’t serious. “Michael.” Rika stepped up. “I don’t like this game.”
“Banks,” I heard Kai breathe out, but I didn’t look at him.
I wouldn’t stop him. I wouldn’t ever stop him. What was done was done, and I’d steal and covet all the moments we had left. I closed my eyes, savoring the feel of him for my memory.
“I like you, too.” I love you.
Her eyes shot to Michael and then Will, who all stared at her the same as Kai. Protecting him? Why would they think that?
She finally looked up, and I was afraid of what she’d say. Damon didn’t want anyone to know about anything that happened at home. I couldn’t talk about this.
I agreed with her. It was still no excuse. Plenty of people had it rough and behaved just fine.
But when you’re in the thick of abuse and still live with the torment in your head every day, it’s a little different. No one handles it. They just fake it better. How else do you cope with the terrible shit you’ve been through?
“And there were other things he’d do. Ways he’d make me hurt him . .
That was the night he stopped hurting himself, because he learned how good it felt for him to hurt others. He didn’t need to suffer anymore.
CHAPTER 23
She was so quiet, though. And I liked seeing her the moment I woke up.
“Don’t forget how this feels.”
Damon had texted her.
“I didn’t know,” she said.
“Vanessa is gone,” David said, stepping into the house. “Someone got to her. Scared her off. She wants no part of this.”
Maybe she was actually choosing them or maybe she thought she could keep Damon away from us if she left, but I was done trying to be the man I thought I should be. The man I was in high school.
She spun around, walking backward as she spoke to me with tears in her eyes. “It was all so easy,” she said quietly. “All you had to do was find out my name.” I faltered. What was she talking about? I knew her name.
He leaned in, crossing his arms over his chest. “Her name . . . is Nikova,” he told me. “Think real hard. It will come to you.”
I glanced at Banks and then back at him. “You have a daughter,” I pointed out. His eyes flashed to me, I heard Banks suck in a breath, and goddamn, I nearly smiled.
“She’s a bastard,” he called out. “One of my many. What makes you think marrying her gives you any power over me? You know I don’t give a shit about her.”
“You may not,” I replied, “but Damon does. He cares about her very much, doesn’t he? You could be dead in five years, but I’ll have your son—and sole heir—exactly where I want him.” I met Banks’ eyes. “If I have her.” He took something I loved today. Now I’d take what he loved.
CHAPTER 24
“I wish I could kill you,” he bit out, getting in my face. “I would snap your fucking neck in a second if I didn’t know that piece-of-shit son of mine would lose his little temper and do something stupid.”
“Make sure he gets her used,” he told David.
Nonononononono o
But then Ilia’s icy-blue eyes turned toward me, and he moved, taking off his jacket. “I’ve wanted this for a long time,” he said, tossing his jacket on my father’s desk.
Nononoonnonno oo
And then his hand was in my jeans.
He gripped my hair tight at my scalp, pushing my head into the floor as he pulled down my jeans. I clenched my jaws together, my face twisted and every muscle tight.
Nononono
I wanted them all—everyone—to know they couldn’t hurt me. I didn’t allow it.
I’d be dead in a day if I called the police. But justice would come. I’d make sure of it.
But strangely, I didn’t mind. This was who I was supposed to be.
All I felt was anger. And drive. I didn’t care what happened to me right now. Let him do his worst.
I felt armed. I wanted to be bold, not invisible. Not look how I always looked, fucking apologetic and like I was always trying to make up for existing. I was here, and fuck ’em.
We were married.
CHAPTER 25
How the hell did everything spiral out of control? What was I even after anymore? What was the end goal?
so I could handle it and either turn myself in or come to terms with the sick bitch getting exactly what she deserved. And if so, then making sure she was well hidden and dealing with it if she wasn’t.
Except today. When I looked at her and said those lies, vows I didn’t intend on keeping—but in that moment, I did.
How perfect my world would’ve been if I could’ve swallowed my pride and told her I loved her and she let me hold her. No matter what, everything would’ve been okay if I could’ve seen her smile on her wedding day.
Will had waited for Banks to come out of the church so he could bring her here. She would’ve argued and fought, but the threat of the cell phone loomed, and she would’ve eventually agreed.
